Communication in marriage: how much do married couples talk?

Communication In Marriage: How To Stop The Drift

In Podcast by Debra Fileta

When you think about communication in marriage, what comes to mind?

When I was gathering data for my book, Choosing Marriage, I asked singles to tell me how much time they thought married couples spend in quality communication each week. Then, I surveyed married couples asking them how much time they spend in quality communication each week…and the different answers that came in were almost laughable (I tell you all about the stats it in this episode and why married couples aren’t actually talking!)

There was such a drastic difference between what singles thought communication in marriage looked like, vs. what married people actually reported communication in marriage to be. 

But there are so many things that get in the way of communication in marriage. Life. Jobs. Kids. If we’re not constantly trying to move together in marriage, we’ll find ourselves moving apart.


In today’s episode, I’m joined by my dear friend and marriage counselor, Dr. Kim Kimberling. We cover some of these issues that can come up with communication and connection in marriage.

  • We talk about our own respective marriages, some of the challenges and successes we face when it comes to communication in marriage.
  • We talk about child-centric homes, why they’re dangerous to marriage, and what to do about it.
  • How to set some boundaries with your kids so you can enrich your marriage.
  • We talk about some steps you can take to build your marriage or restore it when you’re feeling off-track.
  • Why most married couples aren’t spending enough time together, and how to make it happen.
  • We talk about the importance of the first 10-minutes of contact with your spouse.
  • We talk about who should initiate communication and why it matters.
  • We also share some ways we stay connected to our spouses and some practices that you can apply to your marriage to stay connected….and so much more!

This episode is so full of amazing conversation and insight. You’re going to love it! Whether you’re single, or married, or somewhere in between – take the time to tune into Episode 22 of the LOVE + RELATIONSHIPS PODCAST.

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Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER or SPOTIFY

Resources Mentioned on the Love + Relationships Podcast and Additional Show Notes:

Be sure to connect with today’s guest, Dr. Kim Kimberling and all his encouraging marriage resources at And be sure to check out his new book, 14 Keys To Lasting Love: How To Have The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted

Learn more about communication by checking out this article: You Have Walls, And They’re Keeping People Out. The Truth About Communication in Marriage.


Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life.

Choosing Marriage Christian Dating Book

DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog,, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter