This blog series offers a candid look into real marriage with it's ups and downs, struggles and joys, highs and lows.

This Is Marriage

In Marriage by Debra Fileta

There’s no hiding it. My upcoming blog post series, This Is Marriage is strikingly similar to the insanely popular TV series that everyone’s raving about called “This Is Us”.

If you a haven’t heard about it (aka you live under a rock), it’s a series that follows the life of a family, specifically, the Pearson family. But the twists, turns, drama, connections, and baggage that get revealed to us throughout the show is a remarkable example of the complexity and beauty of life.

It’s “family unveiled”. With the good, the bad, and the ugly.

In so many ways, marriage comes with it’s complexities. It comes with its twists, it’s turns, and it’s drama. It comes with it’s baggage and it’s beauty, and everything in between. It comes with the good, the bad, and the ugly.

But we live in a culture in which pulling back the veil on marriage is something that most people aren’t willing to do.

In my upcoming book, Choosing Marriage, I surveyed 1,000 singles and 1,000 married people – and the results were astonishing.  In so many aspects of marriage (conflict, sex, secrets, communication, etc), what people expected marriage to be like, was completely different to what marriage was ACTUALLY like when they got there.

Particularly in Christian culture, admitting the hardships that often come with the “reality” of marriage is SO taboo, so PERSONAL, that these things gets swept under the rug until it’s too late. There are some things about marriage that no one talks about until the struggles have done their damage. Which is why our Christian divorce rates match the national statistics.

But through it all, there are couples who have stood the test of time, and have come out the other side.

There are couples who are not just surviving through marriage – they are thriving.

I know many of these couples myself, and I know you do to.

That’s why I want to commit this upcoming blog series, This Is Marriage to pointing out those very couples. I want us to hear from them, to learn from them, and to be inspired by them.

I want to hear the stories of amazing couples, the things they’ve done right in marriage, and the things they’ve learned never to do again. I want to know what holds them together, keeps them deeply in love, and connects them to God and one another.

In a few short weeks, we’re going to be hearing from five different married couples, from five different ages, stages, and walks of life. We’re going to get a “front row seat” into their life and marriage – and ask them questions we’ve all silently wondered about love and marriage.

This is Marriage. This is what you need to know. And it’s going to be good.

I invite you to be a part of this series by nominating an AMAZING married couple you know, by commenting on the following Facebook post and telling us WHY you’ve been inspired by their marriage. Five couples will be chosen to be featured in this series, who will also receive a free advanced copy of my upcoming book, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With WE>ME. 

Comment here to nominate your favorite couple, and be sure to tag them in the comment section so I can connect with them!


If you want a candid look into the often untold reality of marriage, check out my new book, Choosing Marriage. It’s filled with astonishing survey results from over 1,000 singles and 1,000 married people. It’s packed with inspiring stories and practical advice. I poured my heart and soul into it, and I believe it’s going to change marriages and relationships across the globe…one choice at a time. It’s available for pre-order right now, and I’d be honored if you’d give it a read.

“No matter what season of marriage you are in, Choosing Marriage will offer encouragement and hope to find even more satisfaction in your relationship. Debra’s counseling experience and biblical knowledge are woven together with some great stories and practical advice to help every couple learn how to experience a richer, more meaningful life together.”John Fuller, Focus on the Family

Choosing Marriage Book

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. Her newest book, Choosing Marriage, is set to be released May 2018! You may also recognize her voice from her 200+ articles at Relevant Magazine,, and all over the web! She’s the creator of this True Love Dates Blog, reaching millions of people with the message that healthy people make healthy relationships!  Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter or book a session with her today!