RESET from Toxic Optimism

In Podcast by Debra Fileta

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing. 

Maybe it’s your negative thinking that’s keeping you stuck. 

Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression. 

Maybe you’re struggling in your relationship with God. 

Maybe you’re stuck in a pattern of unhealthy relationships. 

Maybe it’s behaviors that are sabotaging your life like an addiction or unhealthy habits. 

It could be your attitude, your mindset, or your perspective on life that needs to shift. 

Whatever it is – in order for change to happen, it has to start from the inside out. 

My new book RESET is all about getting healthy from the inside out. It’s a book of 31 practices that will guide you into the process of healing, by giving you practical steps that will transform your life with changes that last.  

In honor of my new book, over the next few weeks, we’re diving into different areas of your life that might be in need of a RESET

We’ll be talking through everything from unhealthy thinking, to your relationship with God, to your marriage, trauma history, body image, boundaries, and everything in between. We’re going on a journey of resetting from our default mode, and learning to do it differently! 


In today’s episode, we’re talking about something you probably haven’t thought about before. Did you know there’s such a thing as being TOO POSITIVE? It’s called toxic optimism. Toxic Optimism is when we use “positivity” or Christian platitudes to bypass difficult feelings rather than allow ourselves to face and feel the difficult things.

But what we’re actually doing is burying the trauma, the grief, and the pain — instead of dealing with it. And ironically, when we bury it, we end up prolonging the pain because the best way to preserve something is to bury it. 

Today I’m talking with Courtney, who struggles with this very thing. Her whole life she’s tried to be “tough, and positive” and make all the right choices in hopes of pleasing God and the people around her…but she’s at a place where all that is on the backburner because she’s feeling really burnt out. We talk through this today, in a raw and honest conversation about her toxic optimism, where it began, and how she uses it to keep from actually dealing and healing. It’s an eye opening conversation with her, and I think it will be for you as well.

It’s time to RESET these different areas of our lives and heal from the inside-out. Tune into today’s important episode about toxic optimism. And learn more about toxic optimism in my new book Reset!


RESET: Powerful habits to own your thoughts, understand your feelings, and change your life is officially available TODAY anywhere books are sold!!! Grab a copy for you and someone you love and let’s begin to DO IT DIFFERENTLY.

DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season, Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog,, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today!