Fake Faith: The Myth of “Waiting on God”

In Advice and Encouragement, Dating, Relationships by Debra Fileta8 Comments

And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. Luke 11:9

I recently met a young man who was waiting on God.  Waiting.  Waiting.  Waiting.

His life had been headed down a dangerous path, and he was waiting for God to rescue him.  He had done nothing to get himself to a better place. He hadn’t looked for any help.  He hadn’t tried to change his behaviors.  He was just “waiting on God”, he told me. Waiting…and waiting.

I admire people of faith.  I think it’s important to really believe; to live as if what you are believing is  already truth.  To trust God completely, fully, recklessly (Hebrews 11:1).  To take Him at His word and build your life upon it. Living a life of faith is something we should all strive to do. To live for what we believe, whether or not we see it in front of our eyes.

But a major problem occurs when people use the guise of “faith” in exchange for the role of passivity; to cover insecurities, or to hide behind their greatest fears.  

Lack of action.

Little motivation.

Zero responsibility.

People expect God to live for them– rather than to work through them.  

Maybe you know someone like that.  Or maybe that’s something you’re struggling with even today.  

I heard a joke once about a man who was drowning, but he had faith that God would rescue him.

A jet ski came by, but he declined saying “No thanks, God will rescue me!”

A rescue boat came by, but again, he declined saying “No thanks, God will rescue me!”

A helicopter came by, but a third time, he declined saying “No thanks, God will rescue me!”

And finally, he drowned.  When he awoke to heaven he approached God and asked him, “But Lord, you promised to save me”.  To which God replied, “I tried…I sent a jet ski…and a rescue boat…and a helicopter…but you weren’t having any of it.”

It might get you to crack a smile or even chuckle…but isn’t there some truth to this ?

How many times do we allow our false ideas of faith to keep us stuck?  To prevent us from moving in the direction that God wants us to go?

“God will give me a sign…God will close the doors if it’s not meant to be…God will bring him/her into my life…God will work out this relationship for me…God will take away my feelings…God will eventually get me out of this addiction…”

I know He can, but will he?  Is that the kind of God we serve?  Do we serve a God who acts on our behalf, or a God who gives us the strength and power to act on His behalf?

I don’t know about you, but I see my relationship with God as much, much larger than just a puppeteer interacting with his puppet.

God DOES ask us to trust Him with the things we cannot control…but he also asks us to take action in the things that we can. He asks us to know Him, to love Him, and to honor Him…and then to live confidently in return.

We are called to take action, to make decisions, to live our lives, and to do what it takes to get ourselves where He wants us to be.  Our connection with God is a two-way street, and like it or not: WE have a role in this relationship.  We have a choice.  We have a will.  And with that will we can either say yes, or no.  We can stop, or we can go.  We can stay the same, or we can grow.  Live in the old…or awake to the new.

It’s important to trust God, to seek his wisdom, his power, and his strength.  It’s important to give him our worries and our fears and to trust Him with tomorrow…but it’s just as important to allow Him to work in us and through us today.

Don’t allow your fears, insecurities, and inadequacies to paralyze you  in the name of  false “faith”.

Real faith lives a life of action. Real faith is alive and active.  Real faith takes responsibility and moves forward one step at a time.

I trust Jesus.  I trust Him with my tomorrow.  I have faith that my life is in His hands.

But it is that very faith that drives me to act.  To change. To choose.  To live.  

To Ask, To Seek, To Knock…if you think about it, those are all ACTION words.

So don’t ever confuse “faith” with “passivity”. Because real faith is one that takes action.

Consider this: What is an area of your life in which God is calling you to take action in faith?  

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. Her newest book, Choosing Marriage, is set to be released in the Summer of 2018! You may also recognize her voice from her 200+ articles at Relevant Magazine, Crosswalk.com, and all over the web! She’s the creator of this True Love Dates Blog, reaching over 4 million people with the message that healthy people make healthy relationships!  Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter or book a session with her today!

Ready to take some action in your love-life?


  1. Thank you so much for this Awesome word Debra. This is exactly what I and my friends needed to hear. This truly ministered to my spirit.

    Thank you and God bless.

  2. I was just rereading chapter 9 from True Love Dates, The Triangle Theory, and while you certainly encourage action and dedication in serving and living for God, I didn’t really see a call for actual, forthright action when it came to relationships.

    And the examples of men and women you gave who managed to find love (your husband, Anderson and Taj) seem to me to have tried their hardest NOT to act in this area.

    Can someone live to serve God while still being relationally passive? Or is passivity the whole idea?

    1. Author

      Sam, I think the triangle theory in and of itself indicates MOVEMENT in some direction – namely, in God’s direction. Strengthening your relationship with God is an act of movement in God’s direction. All the men and women I used as examples were not living passive lives….they were living active lives. Anderson himself, who met his wife on the other side of the world….that takes action. Lots of it. I think being relationally passive is when we live a life of fear….being paralyzed from doing anything. Afraid to meet new people. Afraid of getting involved. Afraid of trying new things. I don’t think that being passive has any role in this. There are some things we simply cannot control – but the things we CAN control, we should make sure we’re not using “faith” as an excuse if we’re really just being passive.

  3. I love this article so much. It’s so spot on. Just the right words I needed to hear this season of my life. God bless you Debra.

  4. Don’t allow your fears, insecurities, and inadequacies to paralyze you in the name of false “faith”. That summons it up with i struggle with at times, though i’m learning to everyday overcome it, whether it’s in finally asking someone one out on date. Family friends, etc. Pray over for me, that i don’t allow those things to paralyze me. Thank you for this. Amen.

  5. I think God wants me to trust him with me wanting a girlfriend not easy I hate being single. I know God is wanting me to trust him

  6. Amen to this! Let’s not forget that little passage in James about faith and works: “Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.” (James 2:18) I’ve heard it said that God is the perfect gentleman – He will never force anything on us, and that includes things that are good or things we ask for! It’s like waiting on someone to give you money, but you’re standing there with a closed fist; 100 people could walk by and hand you money, but you can’t receive it because you won’t bother to open up your hand.

    I’m living this out right now in my faith walk; I just moved across the country and I’m buying a house. It’s been a beautiful God experience the whole way, seeing how He’s opening doors and blessing everything I’m doing. But I still have to be the one to do the things so He can bless it. I’m the one who hired a realtor, looked at houses, gathered up all the paperwork needed, made all the phone calls, etc. All glory goes to God for the whole experience, but I’ve been an active participant the entire time. It’s true partnership with God! I’m excited to see how this next phase of my life unfolds, and I’m hoping that my future husband will be a part of it very soon, too! 😉

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