You Know You’re Single And Looking When……

In Advice and Encouragement, Relationships, Single by Debra Fileta

I asked this question on Social Media last week, and the responses seriously made me laugh out loud. Here are a few of my favorites. Be sure to catch the hilarious chime-in’s at the end of the post from my absolute favorite comedian Michael Jr. (Next time we want you back for a full guest post, Michael)! Thanks for making my day, ya’ll. Sometimes, we just need a good laugh:

You Know You’re Single and Looking When….

  • Valentine’s Day is “Ice Cream and Sweatpants Day”.
  • You wish the “gift of singleness” came with a gift receipt so you could return it.
  • After you look at their face, you search for the ring finger to make sure they’re single!
  • You’ve heard the words, “I know someone who would be PERFECT for you!” more times than you can count. And they were always so, so, so very wrong.
  • You have the Chinese Take-out phone number listed as one of your “Favorites” (right after mom).
  • You enter church on a Sunday morning and scan the room for any new potential candidates.
  • You secretly imagine every-day scenarios of where you could meet your future spouse.
  • Your fridge mainly consists of condiments, drinks, those free packets of sauces from Chick-Fil-A, and may or may not contain a couple of hot-pockets.
  • You “courtesy laugh” at jokes that aren’t even funny.
  • You pathetically insert your life into every rom-com you watch.
  • Your “prayer journal” is starting to resemble a little black book.
  • People can’t tell if you’re dressed to go to Prom- or the 10am service at Church.
  • You don’t bother shaving…like, at all.
  • You read into pretty much EVERYTHING. “He liked my picture on Facebook- what could that mean!?!” “We’re wearing the same color today- could that be a sign?!”
  • To get back at all your friends who post constant pictures of their spouses and children, you start posting a stream of pictures of your pets. Take that!
  • At some point, you’ve seriously contemplated using one of these cheesy Christian pick-up lines.
  • You’ve contemplated flying to Hong-Kong and back for a weekend get-away- just because you have that much time to kill.
  • You’re at a family reunion asking for confirmation that she’s your cousin. @MichealJrComedy
  • You work out at home before you go work out at the gym. @MichealJrComedy
  • You put on lipstick to check the mail. @MichealJrComedy
  • You’ve considered dumpster diving at the Men’s Wearhouse. @MichealJrComedy

Did yours make the list? If not, leave your own comment!! The best two comments will be chosen on Friday January 30th, to win a FREE copy of  director Corbin Bernsen‘s hilarious new Christian “Rom-Com” on DVD- Christian Mingle: The Movie (courtesy of The Mingle, LLC and Purpose Driven Sales & Marketing).

If you didn’t already know, I wrote the movie discussion guide for this movie based on concepts from my book, True Love Dates. Check out the Free Discussion Guide!

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. You may also recognize her voice from her 100+ articles at Relevant Magazine or! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog!  Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter