How should Christian singles meetup?
When it comes to Christian dating advice, that’s one of the number one questions I get.
Yesterday I was speaking at a women’s conference, and the very first question during the Q&A time went something like that. Actually, I think the exact quote was “where the heck are all the single men at?”
You can just feel the frustration in that question, can’t you?
Let’s cut straight to the chase: I get this question a lot. Singles’ of all ages and stages – both men and women – are wondering where are all the good singles at? Do they even exists? Is it worth holding out hope that I’ll find one?
I can understand the frustration behind this question because sometimes it really feels like good single’s no longer exist. Looking around at culture today, it can seem like the godly, Christian men and women are a rare and dying breed.
But I want to take this time to boldly say that I think that’s a lie from the pit of hell. I believe that there are godly Christians all over the world – but the enemy wants you to think there aren’t any left.
Because the moment you believe that lie, you give up hope.
And the moment you give up hope, you begin to feel desperate.
And the day you begin to feel desperate, you let go of your standards.
And the second you let go of your standards, you allow yourself to settle for unhealthy relationships.
Because you’ve believed the lie that this must be as good as it gets.
But I’m about to get all spiritual on you. Because I believe in a God that is bigger than the lies. I believe in a God who calls us to ask Him, to trust Him, and to believe that what He has for us is greater than we could ever ask or imagine.
It might not be in our time.
It might not be in our way.
And it might not be how we imagined it to happen.
But if you are a woman or a man of God – you are living proof that they do still exist.
So, now that we’ve uncovered this lie (by the way, check out this course if you want to uncover more lies about singleness we believe)– what’s the best way to find actually meet Christian singles? What’s the best way to connect with one another?
I asked my married readers where they met their spouses and out of hundreds of responses, here were the top 3 answers.
We Met Through My Friends and Family.
Ya’ll – there is nothing wrong with letting the world around you know that you are single and searching. The people that know you the best (your friends and family) know others – and if you’re willing, they can match you up with someone that they think could be a good fit. You just have to let them know you’re open to it. I think sometimes married friends don’t want to step on single’s toes or make you feel uncomfortable – so they avoid the “hey, I’d love to match you up with so-and-so” conversation. So you’ve got to take the first step in letting people know…and being open about your desire to meet other godly Christian singles.
We Met Through Church or Related Activity.
I think this is a no brainer when it comes to meeting Christian singles, but maybe it isn’t. Because where else do you meet others who are growing in their desire to know Jesus and to make Him known? Oftentimes, like-minded people gather in church and related church activities.
How connected and plugged in are you to a local church? How involved are you with community? Have you committed to a bible study, small group, or ministry? Have you joined a single’s group, or maybe (if one doesn’t exist) thought about STARTING a single’s group or ministry? I know of a ministry that started with one person’s passion and a handful of Christian singles, that now meets on weekly basis with over 400 people in attendance. That’s what God can do. I love connecting Christian singles in this way through TLD events, and if you didn’t know, we have one coming up around the corner.
If you’re on the East Coast and you want to connect with other Christian singles in an environment of learning and growing, check out this TLD single’s seminar on May 5th in Lancaster, PA and get yourself a ticket! If you can’t make it, or you live far away, contact your church leaders about hosting a TLD Event at your church, and then reach out to me and we’ll make it happen! (Click the photo below to get your tickets, or visit the Event Facebook Page).
Through Apps or Online Dating Sites:
Some people aren’t cool with online dating, but I think it’s okay to keep up with the way the world is connecting and meet christian singles. These days, 30% of people report meeting their spouse online. That’s a pretty significant number if you ask me. I think online dating can be frustrating, and you have to go into it with the understanding that it takes a lot of “weeding” and “sorting” through different interactions – but if you go into it with wisdom and with eyes wide open, it’s can be a way to connect with other singles.
I know what you’re thinking – you wish TLD would start a dating site. Well, as much as I would love to take on that endeavor, right now, I don’t have the bandwidth for that. But my honest hope for this entire site, ministry, and Facebook Page is that it could also serve as a way for like-minded people (aka christian singles) to connect “online”. So leave a comment on our Facebook Page, join our JumpStart Your Love Life Facebook Group, or reach out to someone in a “get to know you” kind of way. Don’t be creepy, just be authentic.
If you feel like you’re doing all the above then my last bit of advice for you is this: have some grace with yourself, and live life to the fullest while you wait (oh, and then check out this article for non-traditional places to meet singles – if nothing else, it will make you laugh!)
God is not done writing your story – and you shouldn’t be either.
Comment below: Where have you met other Christian singles?
Friends!! My new book, Choosing Marriage, comes out in 2 short weeks!! Do me the biggest favor and pre-order your copy today (you’ll get $50 of bonuses if you do!). I’m so excited about this new message that God has placed on my heart.
START READING CHOOSING MARRIAGE FOR FREE! Enter your email below to get the first two chapter sent to your inbox instantly!
Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, and Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me where she writes candidly about love, sex, dating, relationships, and marriage. You may also recognize her voice from her 200+ articles at Relevant Magazine, Crosswalk.com, and all over the web! She’s the creator of this True Love Dates Blog, reaching millions of people with the message that healthy people make healthy relationships! Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter or book a session with her today!
