royal wedding

What Makes A Royal Wedding

In Marriage by Debra Fileta

A royal wedding took place with millions of people from across the world watching as witnesses, this particular Saturday, May 19th.

It was a picturesque day, as Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were officially wed as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

This weekend, the entire world was enamored by this couple and caught up in their special day. Their every move was photographed and narrated, devoured by the media and those watching.

There are so many details that went into the royal wedding.

From the bride’s dress, to her veil made up of 16 feet of silk tulle.

From the thousands of dollars in flowers to the 100 lemons that went into the wedding cake.

From the 10 bridesmaids and page boys that took part in the ceremony, to the 7 charities that were chosen by the couple in lieu of gifts.

From the custom made diamond ring, to the horse and carriage processional.

From the thousands of guests invited to attend the ceremony, to the elaborate reception to follow.

And while all these details may be fun and exciting, what makes a royal wedding is not what happens on the wedding day, but what happens every moment thereafter.

Because marriage unfolds once the cameras have stopped rolling.

Once the crowds have gone back to their homes.

Once the flowers have been taken down, and the crumbs of cake are all that’s leftover.

Once the music has stopped playing and the lights have been dimmed…that’s when we find what we’re really made of.

That’s when the power of love is tested and tried. As the Bishop Curry so eloquently said in his wedding address to the newlyweds, “We were made by the power of love and our lives were meant to be lived with that love.”

That’s the kind of love that takes place when no one is watching.

That’s the kind of love that gives until it hurts.

That’s the kind of love that selflessly lays down it’s life for the life of another.

That’s the kind of love that apologizes willingly, and forgives freely.

That’s the kind of love that clings to each other in the good times and in the bad times.

That’s the kind of love that vows to choose the actions of love, even when the feelings of love have subsided.

That’s the power of love. “And it always ends with the same formula: We > Me. Love always forces us to choose self, or to choose love. And the choice to love is always ours for the making” (Choosing Marriage, pg.25).

Because no matter how royal your wedding day, “a good marriage comes from a series of decisions over an extended period of time, with the commitment of two people choosing to love each other no matter what may come their way” (Choosing Marriage, pg.23)

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being ‘in love’ which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away” (Corelli’s Mandolin).

THAT is the power of love…which is the one and only thing that really makes a royal wedding. And that kind of love is also yours for the taking.

A heartfelt congratulations and sincerest best wishes to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

Find out what it looks like to apply WE > ME

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Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, and Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me where she writes candidly about love, sex, dating, relationships, and marriage. You may also recognize her voice from her 200+ articles at Relevant Magazine,, and all over the web! She’s the creator of this True Love Dates Blog, reaching millions of people with the message that healthy people make healthy relationships!  Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter or book a session with her today!