What makes a good marriage? The traits of a good marriage are not what we're being told. Love is not chemistry - it's so much more.

What Makes a Relationship “Marriage Worthy”

In Advice and Encouragement, Dating, Marriage by Debra Fileta

What makes a good marriage?

Truth be told,what makes a good marriage are not the qualities and traits we’re focusing on in our world today.

I’ve noticed a concerning trend among singles in America today.

Too many singles are absolutely confused about what makes a relationship “marriage worthy”. Priorities are completely upside down.

And I don’t totally blame them. Hollywood is spewing romanticized lies about what love looks like. The media is setting unrealistic expectations about chemistry and infatuation. And the porn industry has everyone totally fooled into believing that a certain image actually exists.

I’m here to tell you that none of those things define love. Not one of them. Because none of these things are the key ingredients to what makes a good marriage. 

Love is not chemistry.
Love is not sex.
Love is not infatuation.

Love is not even that head over heels feeling you’re looking for.

No, real love, is so much more. And oftentimes, in search for all of the other things, it gets missed along the way. After a decade of marriage, I can tell you this much: real love is something that runs deep.

Real love isn’t found in someone who is sexy – but someone who is selfless.
Real love isn’t found in someone who is fashionable – but someone who is forgiving.
Real love isn’t found in someone who is popular – but someone who is patient.
Real love isn’t found in someone who is loaded – but someone who is loyal.
Real love isn’t found in someone who is gorgeous – but someone who is godly.

This is what makes a good marriage.

In marriage, there are so many qualities that actually matter, but those are the very ones that often get overlooked (see 1 Corinthians 13 for a really good list of some of those things).

You who are single right now, I challenge you to take a second look at your “standard” of what you’re looking for in a relationship and ask yourself this:

Am I after qualities that bring short-term pleasure, or qualities that will last a lifetime?

Are these qualities of what makes a good marriage? The answer to that question will determine a lot. It’s time to get our priorities back in order and hold tight to the things that make for a meaningful marriage.

Learn more about my research and the important traits that make a good marriage.

Choosing Marriage Book

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life, and 21 Days to Pray For Your Love Life – where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. You may also recognize her voice from her 150+ articles at Relevant Magazine or Crosswalk.com! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog!  Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter or book a session with her today!