This Is The Scariest Thing In My Life- Is it in Yours?

In Advice and Encouragement, Relationships by Debra Fileta

“We get along well.  He’s a good enough guy.”

I still remember hearing those words one afternoon.  The most unfortunate part of the story, is that she wasn’t talking about her friend, her boyfriend, or her acquaintance.  She was talking about her husband.

They had met during college.  She had seen a handful of not-so-good relationships in her life when he came along.

He wasn’t nearly everything she had hoped for, but he was hard working, and interested in her.  Frankly, he seemed as good as it could get.  

Like she said, he was good enough.

I believe that one of the biggest problems we are facing in our generation is that we are learning to settle for “good enough”.  The “good enough” syndrome is starting to seep into every part of our lives from our jobs, to our spiritual lives, to our daily activities- and it’s having an enormous impact on our relationships.

We’ve become a generation that is so big on inclusion, acceptance, and tolerance- that we’ve allowed things that are less than best to penetrate our lives.  The result…is the Good-Enough American Dream.

We are surrounded by individuals who are living “good enough lives” with “good enough” families, and “good enough” jobs.

But every time, the good-enough ends up taking the place of what is best.  

I remember a time in my life that I was determined to live out God’s best for my life.  I was passionate, energized, and motivated.  I wanted to serve God and make a difference in this world.  I wanted to share His love and live a life that proclaimed the difference He had made for me.  I wanted to chase after God’s dreams for my life, because I knew that His dreams were bigger than mine.

Unfortunately, life caught up with me.  For a time, I got side-tracked, and settled for good-enough in my life instead of seeking out what was best.  I got involved in a relationship that was good enough, and settled for that in my life and in my walk with God.  One thing after another led to a very unfulfilled, unhappy, and confusing time in my life.  I felt far from my goals and dreams, and even farther from my God.  I exchanged the best for good enough.  I exchanged my passion, for apathy.

I’m so glad God gave me the insight I needed to make some changes.  I’m so glad those changes brought me out of that time and out of that relationship.  He opened my eyes to the greater things He had planned, and He challenged me to trust Him.  And I am so glad that I did.

To let go of good-enough, we have to believe that God has better…and we have to take that risk.  

I think sometimes as Christians we can start feeling good about ourselves when we find we’re doing okay.  We’re avoiding the “bad things” and the “bad people”.  We’re making money, getting through school, attending church every Sunday, and doing pretty well in life.

But Jesus doesn’t call us to live good enough lives.  He calls us to life abundant.  He longs for us to shed the robes of apathy, and to get rid of the lukewarm feelings we’ve let take root in our hearts.

He wants us to exchange these things for  passion, and to constantly be seeking after what is best in our life and in our relationship with Him.  He wants us to enter into relationships in which we are thriving, living a life that is meaningful and purposeful.  He wants us to live a life that is defined by His love, forgiveness, acceptance, and grace.  He invites us to be part in the bigger story, bringing the world around us one step closer to Jesus.  Our  lives have a glorious mission, and that mission is pointing the world to Jesus.  If we have missed that, than we have missed a very big thing.

The scariest life we can live, is a good enough life.

The scariest kind of relationship we can engage in, is a good enough relationship.

I will always have the tendency to get caught up again in the good enough.  If I’m honest, I think that is the scariest thing in my life.  Every day is a battle to seek passion in exchange for apathy; joy in exchange for the mundane;  the best in exchange for the good enough.  I am constantly asking God to open my eyes to the best He has for me…each and every single day.

Whatever it is in your life that you have settled for, it’s time to take a risk.  It’s time to let go of the “okay” and seek that which is best.  It’s time to take back your hopes, your dreams, and your passions in pursuit of greater things.  God has magnificent things in store, when we’re willing to open our hearts and trust.  

Because living life abundant means not just running away from the bad, but running hard after the best.

Look at your life and ask yourself where you’ve settled for good enough.  May God give you the strength, the courage, and the hope to trust Him for the best.  

For more inspiration on becoming and living out God’s best for your life, pick up a copy of my first book, True Love Dates today! For a sneak preview of my new book and to order your copy click here.

Resources and Upcoming Events:

  • Are you looking to get healthy? Book a session today with a Debra Fileta Counselors Network counselor! Our counselors are ready for your 50 minute online session. Book A Session Here.
  • Marriage Resource: WedTalks Conference: Signup online
  • Anxiety + Christians online seminar: November 1st, 2022, Signup online

DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written five books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every SeasonAre You Really OK? and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog,, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today!