I Wanted A Glimpse of My Future – But It Ruined Everything

In Advice and Encouragement, Relationships by Debra Fileta

I looked up, and there it as. An open book, as wide as it was thick. It was the book of my life – a book written by God himself. As I lived day by day, moment by moment, I saw the pages turn. Every page one step closer to the end of my story.

I turned back a few pages and there before me was every action, every thought and every word that I’d ever spoken. All that I’d ever felt, and all that I’d learned; the people I knew and the things I’d loved were all written out before my eyes.

I was amazed at the details I had forgotten…and was amazed that God had them all written out before they had even occurred.

But as I read, I grew worried.

“What did my future hold? What was to come ahead? What if God had written a story I didn’t like?”

I grew impatient waiting for the pages of my book to turn, so I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I would take it from here.

The first thing I did was to go back and erase all the times of suffering from my life. All the tears and all the pain, all the broken hearts and shattered promises. All the people who had let me down.

But as I tore out trial by trial, I realized that they were written on the same pages of the happiness I’d also experienced. And as I pulled out one by one, I took away the joys as well.

But that didn’t matter, at least there was no more pain. Joy will come in the future, I persuaded myself.

My book was growing thinner, but my life was now in my control.

Next, I decided to head nearer to the end of my book. Nearer to my future. Closer to the man I would marry, the children I would hold, and the career I would pursue.

But the faster I turned to the end of my book, the more I missed to read in between, and there was no going back this time…

The book got thinner and thinner, but at least, I thought, my life was in my control.

The more I edited my book, the smaller and thinner it got, until I had reached the end…there I realized there were no more pages to turn.

What had I done? I missed out on the plan God had written for me. I was so worried about the past and the future that I neglected to experience the present.

I rushed the Lord, and in the end I missed out on His good and perfect plan for me.

Now, there is no going back.

My child, why are you worried? Why are you so anxious? I know the plans I have for you and they are greater than you could ever imagine. So, wait on me…and let me show you how to truly  experience life. One moment at a time.


Hey friends!

For those of you who are long-time visitors of TrueLoveDates.com, you know this isn’t a typical article. Because believe it or not, this was me at 16 years old! I was looking through some old journals and found this passage I had written in one of them. It’s amazing that even at that young I was tempted to fast-forward my life. There’s so much I would have missed along the way, and to be honest, so much that I probably couldn’t have handled seeing.  God knows us, and He knows what we need, so He gives us our life piece by piece.

I decided to share this with you, because as I was reading it I realized this is something we have to remind ourselves of each and every day- whether 16 or 61. Life is precious – when we live in the present. May God give you all the strength and courage to live in the moment, and to trust Him with your future.

Like one of my favorite missionaries has said, “Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living.” — Jim Elliot

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. You may also recognize her voice from her 100+ articles at Relevant Magazine or Crosswalk.com! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love! Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter