The #2 Dating Deal Breaker of 2016 (But Why It’s Actually #1)

In Dating, Single by Debra Fileta

Earlier this week I published a post revealing the #1 Dating Deal Breaker of 2016, based on well over 20,000 responses from 1,500 single voters across the nation. If you are curious what that deal breaker is, than give this post a read.

Interestingly enough, after that post was published, there was a rush of hundreds of new voters who decided to go and cast their vote and ended up actually changing my data, bumping this #2 deal breaker up by 4% and making it the #1 Deal Breaker on the list! (By the way, for those of you who are curious, the poll is OFFICIALLY CLOSED TO VOTERS).

I tell you that, because no matter how we look at the numbers, it’s important to note that this #2 Dating Deal Breaker, is actually right up there with number one! And in my personal and professional opinion – it surpasses #1 because it is hands down the MOST IMPORTANT THING a couple can share in their dating relationship.

This one aspect informs and influences every other item on the list:

88% of voters agreed with me that for a Christian, dating a Non-Christian is a deal breaker!

I’m thankful that there was such a high response rate to this specific question, because we live in a society in which singles are under a TON of pressure to settle for less. Singles are bombarded with lies that make them rethink whether or not it’s even worth it – much less – even POSSIBLE to marry a believer these days.

But dating a Christian, specifically, a believer in Christ, is such a crucial component to the health of your relationship because out of the overflow of your relationship with God comes your ability to love and be loved.

Our spiritual life is such a significant part of who we are, and to enter a life long relationship with someone who doesn’t identify with that part of your life is doing yourself and your relationship a grave injustice.

I’ve shared a lot of my personal thoughts on this concept, and I go as far as to explain that just because someone is “Christian” doesn’t mean they are healthy – so yes, there’s a lot more to this question that needs to be unpacked. Being a Christian is not simply a label that a person puts on themselves, it’s so much deeper than that. So if you’re interested in reading more about the importance of dating a believer (and I highly recommend you do) you can check out these articles:

Why W.W.J.D. Doesn’t Work In Dating

Marry Someone Who Loves God More Than They Love You

Marrying a Believer is NOT Optional

And then check out this guest post by my friend, pastor and author Gary Thomas:

Does It Matter If I’m Dating An Unbeliever?

For those who may or may not be on the fence as to whether or not this is something worth waiting for, I’d love to start a discussion in the comments below:

Why (or why not) is this such an important factor in a dating relationship?

If you are a Christian, what has your personal experience been dating and/or marrying someone who was not a Christian?

“Your love life needs this book!”

– Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, NYTimes Bestselling Authors and Psychologists

tld-3d-book cover

Download this audio lesson where I talk you through the top 10 dating deal breakers from a professional counselor’s perspective!

10 Dating deal breakers

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, speaker, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life, and 21 Days to Pray For Your Love Life – where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. You may also recognize her voice from her 150+ articles at Relevant Magazine or! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog!  Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter or book a session with her today!