Should a woman initiate a relationship?

Oversharing in Relationships: 10 Things Not To Talk About Too Soon

In Podcast by Debra Fileta

Have you ever found yourself oversharing in a relationship?

You know what I mean, right? I’m talking about those conversations where you find yourself saying WAY too much, WAY too soon? Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, why on earth did I say all that? 

Or maybe you know someone, someone who you’re in a relationship with, who tends to overshare.

What is it about oversharing, and why do we do it? How can we draw the line between being authentic, but also not saying way more than we need to? How do we apply this to the world of dating and relationships?

Oversharing in Relationships

Today’s caller is a Melissa – a woman who is struggling with oversharing. She’s wondering why she overshares, and how to know when she’s shared too much.

Specifically, she’s dealing with oversharing about her sexual history – finding herself always leading the way with that conversation. On today’s episode, she’s calling in today to talk through some of the issues this has brought up in her relationships.

“Because your sexual history may shape you, but it doesn’t define you.”

10 Things NOT TO SHARE early on

There are a few reasons why people overshare, and specifically when it comes to our past, we need to understand why we overshare, what’s important to share, and where we need to tone it down. I talk through some reasons we overshare in this episode, because just like I tell Melissa:

“It’s not healthy to dive into the deep end of a relationship, before you’ve walked through the shallow end.”

So after my conversation with Melissa, I’m talking you through some practicals: 10 things NOT to talk about too soon in a relationship – especially when you’re first getting to know someone in a dating relationship (or even in the early stages of a friendship).

Who Should I Share With?

And lastly, on this episode I’m talking through the three groups of people in your life, how to categorize them, and understand how much to share with each group.

Whether you’re dating, single, or navigating friendships, tune in to Episode 016 of the Love + Relationships Podcast, to listen to this important conversation about oversharing!

Episode Highlights:

  • What does oversharing look like?
  • Why do we overshare in relationships?
  • What are some subjects we should stay away from? When do we share mental health issues? Sexual history?
  • 10 things NOT to talk about early on in a relationship.
  • How to recognize who to share with, and who not to.

Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below!



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DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK? and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog,, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today!