Should obesity be a deal breaker in dating?

Should Obesity Be a Deal Breaker in Dating?

In Podcast by Debra Fileta

Today’s question about obesity in dating comes from Will who asks:

Q: Hi Debra. I’m feeling conflicted that a woman being overweight or obese has become a dealbreaker for a relationship.

I do my best to eat well and exercise to keep a healthy weight for myself, especially since I’m at risk for Type II diabetes, and obesity is the number one risk factor. It seems that marrying someone who also has the discipline to maintain a healthy weight is the best way for us to live a long and healthy life together.

But I feel guilty because I’ve been told since I was a child that “it’s what’s inside that counts”, and yet I’m disqualifying women with one look at their body shape. Is it okay that a woman being overweight or obese has become a dealbreaker for me? Or am I being too superficial?

Should Obesity Be A Deal Breaker?

You guys, we’re bringing it today on the podcast.

I’ll be honest, my first reaction was to avoid answering this question, because it’s such a sensitive topic and one we don’t bring up often.

But if Will was bold enough to ask it with such thoughtfulness and sensitivity, then I thought it was important to be bold enough to answer it. 

Without further to say, let’s dive into this candid  question and discuss whether or not obesity should be a deal breaker when it comes to the things you’re looking for in a dating relationship.

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Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life.

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DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog,, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter or book a session with her today!