A couple years ago I wrote a popular post called #MarrySomeoneWho.
The entire article was simply a list of basic statements about the kind of attributes you should look for when it comes to finding someone to marry. That post did really well, and it inspired me to take it a little deeper.
So, the next few posts I’m going to be delving in some of what I believe to be the MOST IMPORTANT QUALITIES when it comes to the type of person you should marry.
Starting with this:
MARRY SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE THEM
Just recently my husband and I were snuggling with our arms wrapped around each other. The amount of love I felt for him in that moment was enough to make my heart feel like it would burst. But the most beautiful thing about that moment is that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he absolutely felt the same way about me.
With that strain of thought lingering in my mind, I looked at him and said, “I bet it’s the worst feeling ever to love someone who doesn’t love you back.”
Recently, my eyes have been opened to the harsh reality of this kind of situation. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that out of the hundreds of posts on my blog, one of my top 5 most-read posts is called, “What to do about one-sided relationships.” I read so many sad emails and hear so many heart-breaking stories of people who are married to someone who just doesn’t love them back.
And 99% of the time, the traits of a one-sided relationship can be traced back long before marriage…
Like that guy who asked you out for a first date, and then never followed through with another.
Or that girl who you’re interested in, even though flirting with others is her primary mode of communication.
Or maybe it’s that relationship where you find yourself constantly being the one to initiate contact.
Or that person you’re chronically making excuses for…
No matter what your specific situation, a relationship with one-sided traits in dating, will ALWAYS lead to a one-sided marriage. And that, my friends, is an extremely lonely place to be.
Maybe you’re one of those people that likes the adrenaline of a good chase. Just know that while there may be something fun and exciting about trying to “win their heart” during dating, that excitement will quickly be replaced by the constant disappointment and pain of trying to win their heart after marriage.
A good marriage is never a one-way street. It’s made up of two people, each believing that they are the “lucky one” for having found such a love.
So marry someone who loves you, as much as you love them….
Comment below: What are some ways you have seen a one-sided relationship play out in dating?
Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, and 21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. You may also recognize her voice from her 150+ articles at Relevant Magazine or Crosswalk.com! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog! Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter!