relationship blind spots

How Do I Let Go of “What Ifs” From Past Relationships?

In Podcast by Debra Fileta

Q: How do I let go of “what if’s” from my past relationships so I can move forward into future ones?

We’re taking all your questions on our new ASK A COUNSELOR series!! We’re doing this series because I wanted to introduce you to the Counselors from the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get to know them the way I’m getting to know them!

Today’s question comes from a woman who wants to know how to let go of the ruminating about the past — the what ifs. What if it would have been different? What if I said something, did something, tried something different? What if things would have worked out? The list of what ifs is never ending. So how do we deal with them? How can we be set free to move forward? 

Today, I tag-team this question with Anna Pavlov (BOOK A SESSION WITH Anna).  Anna and I get to the root of some of the unhealthy underlying thinking that comes with what ifs, teach you how to recognize it, and then what to do about it as well as what to think INSTEAD.

So tune in on the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below!



The Debra Fileta Counselors Network is taking new clients!! Book a session with one of our trained Christian counselors and get started on your healing journey from the inside-out TODAY! BOOK A SESSION. 

DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written five books including Choosing Marriage, True Love Dates, Love In Every Season, Are You Really OK? and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog,, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today!

Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to to submit your question and learn more.