How to Still Be In Love at 80

In Advice and Encouragement, For the Ladies, Marriage, Relationships by Debra Fileta

I caught my husband looking at me – and the look in his eyes said it all.  It was the same look he had on our first date, and the same look that he had the day I walked toward him down the aisle, and the same look I’ve seen numerous times throughout our marriage.

But this time, it happened at a nursing home.  Let me explain.  

A few October’s ago we took our kids trick-or-treating at a local nursing home.

During one of our visits, I stopped to ask a sweet silver-haired woman how she was doing.  With a quivering voice, she started sharing about some of the struggles she’d been facing over the past few years.  We decided to camp out in her room for a few minutes, listening to her story.  Before we left, I grabbed her soft, wrinkled hand, put my arm around her shoulders, held her close, and prayed with her.  She thanked us, we gave some hugs, and said our goodbyes.

When I looked up to walk to the door, there was my husband looking at me–with that same look.  I could just see the love oozing from his heart as our eyes connected.  It was a look that spoke love, respect, pride and admiration.  It was a look that reminded me that he was so glad that I was his and he was mine.  It was a look that communicated passion, attraction and romance.  It was a look that reminded me that he loved me- and that he loved my heart.

I love seeing that look, because it reminds me that our love runs so deep.  It is a love based on something so much more significant than appearance, sexual attraction, or chemistry.  It is a love based out of the very depths of our hearts.  It’s a love that draws us to one another because of the love of God that is displayed in each of our lives.

The hard, cold reality is that I’m no supermodel, and I never will be.  With each passing day, I find silver strands of my own.  Three babies have taken a toll on my body, and I’ve said goodbye to the abs of my youth (okay, maybe I never had “abs” but let’s leave room for a little wishful thinking).  Life goes by, and with it the vibrance, beauty, and allure of our youth.

But one thing I know to be true without a shadow of a doubt, is that even when I am one day wrinkled, silver-haired, and weak…I will have my husband by my side, still glancing at me with that same look of love in his eyes.  Even at age 80, I know I will have a husband who still thinks I’m beautiful, and a husband with which I am still completely and utterly in love.

Because our love was built on something deep, on something deep it will always remain.

Our society makes it so easy to get caught up on physical appearance and sex appeal.  It’s easy to get fixated on the external, all the while neglecting our most important assets- the beauty that comes from within.

True beauty is not defined by the clothes you wear or the figure you carry- it’s defined by the things that seep out of your life and heart.

Catch a man with your heart- and you’ll keep him with your heart.  Catch a man with your body- and you’ll have to keep him with your body as well (Tweet it!).

The beauty of true attraction, is that it encompasses so much more than outward appearances.  One day, we’ll all be old, wrinkled, and gray…and only what is on the inside will remain.  

May God give us all the courage and the wisdom to continue to see past the superficial things of this world and to focus on the condition of our hearts (1 Samuel 16:17).

*Learn more about becoming beautiful from the inside-out in chapters 1-4 of my book, True Love Dates!

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life,  21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life, and 21 Days to Pray for Your Love Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. You may also recognize her voice from her 150+ articles at Relevant Magazine or! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog!  Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter