Don't make the first move may be dating advice you hear often, but it's not dating advice you want to follow. Here's why it's okay to make the first move.

Women, Don’t Make The First Move (And Other Really Bad Dating Advice)

In Dating by Debra Fileta

It’s very common to hear the dating advice that tells women: don’t make the first move.

Wait to be pursued, and don’t show interest unless interest has been clearly initiated first. But is that dating advice any good?

I’ve talked about this issue many times, because I’m constantly getting asked what my thoughts are regarding women initiating a relationship.

Let’s just get into this: I think it’s bad dating advice to tell a woman not to make the first move, because every story looks a little different and God’s word doesn’t give us reason to assume that a woman should NOT make the first move.

Don’t Make The First Move: Cultural or Biblical?

We’ve placed a lot of cultural limits on how we date, when those cultural limits weren’t intended to lead the way for how we do relationships biblically.  In fact, the bible gives us a clear example of a woman taking initiative in her life and in her relationships

I know a married couple who is deeply in love, and the husband admits that he would have NEVER thought twice about getting to know her if she hadn’t showed interest to begin with. And he’s so glad she did.

I also hear from many men who tell me they really have a hard time gauging whether or not a woman is interested in them, and they’d love to see a woman showing clear interest as a sign for them that it’s okay to take the next steps.

At the risk of being redundant with this topic, I’m going to list my top articles as to why I think telling a woman not to make the first move is bad dating advice, and why I think it’s okay for a woman to initiate a relationship. Check out all the links below!

Can a Woman Make The First Move? On a Woman Initiating (Podcast Episode)

Four Reasons Why It’s Okay For a Woman to Initiate a Relationship

Is It Okay For a Woman to Initiate a Relationship?

Looking for GOOD Christian dating advice?

Check out the Love + Relationships Podcast with Debra Fileta



Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life.

Choosing Marriage Christian Dating Book

DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog,, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter or book a session with her today!