Dear Single: Don’t Fast Forward Your Life!

In Advice and Encouragement, Single by Debra Fileta

Hey friends! Excited to introduce you (and re-introduce you!) to my first-ever intern at, Molly! She’s an amazing young woman who has such a heart for Jesus and serving others! Some of you may recognize her from other guest posts at Molly finished up her one-year internship at TLD in 2014 and moved on to serving Jesus in other ways (including mission trips overseas) but I’m glad to have her back for a guest post! Check out her post and leave her some love in the comment section! — Love, Debra

Have you ever wished away a moment or period of your life?

I have vivid memories from my senior year of high school, wishing that it would just be over already so I could finally move on to college. Moving away from home! Living in the dorms! Getting a degree! All of that sounded far better than taking silly high school tests and enjoying my final year at home.

Then before I knew it, senior year of college (or, if I’m being honest, part of junior year, too) rolled around, I couldn’t wait for that to finish. It was time to get into “the real world.” No more tests, ever! Goodbye, dorm life! I was going to move to a new state and get my own apartment! I was ready to be an official adult at long last.

And so forth and so on. I have a history of mentally fast-forwarding away my time, and one of my biggest struggles is wanting to fast-forward to a time where I finally have a significant other.

But I’ve recently been prodded by God in this area. I don’t want to look back in 2, 5, 10 or 15 years and realize that I had this golden period of my life, a time that God has ALLOWED (not punished) me to be single, and that I completely wished and wasted it away.


“Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.” -Jim Elliot

My mom challenged me with this quote when I was in college. I was struggling to focus on my friends when I had a test later, or thinking about hanging out with friends when I was in the midst of a class. She would tell me, “Just be all there, Moll. Be present in the moment you’re currently in.”

I still occasionally catch myself in the midst of something–a gathering with dear friends and family, a holiday, a quiet evening at home–and wishing it away because I want to fast-forward that moment and get to one that finds me not alone and instead with my future husband.

But that’s not being all there. Christmas, birthdays, weddings, Thanksgiving, family get-togethers (the list goes on) are all triggers for me and my daydreaming, fast-forwarding brain, but I’m trying to catch myself and instead enjoy the moment for what it is. It’s a slow, ever-learning process of being all there.


God has blessed me richly with so many incredible people in my life, so it’d be a disservice to both them and myself if I’m so focused on my “someday” that I miss out on valuable, beautiful moments with loved ones around me right now.

I’m really, truly trying to make the most of this important time in my life. Going on mission trips, traveling to see family and friends, getting involved at my church, mentoring some special kids in my life, and seeking Jesus every day–these are all things I’m doing currently…and loving it.

And you know what? Focusing on others instead of myself brings me joy. It brings me peace. And it gives me a purpose and a sense of fulfillment in the here and now.

I’m seeing that my life doesn’t start the day I get asked out or engaged or married; my life is happening, with wonderful people, right now!


I’m not going to lie and tell you that sticking to the above two points has solved all my longing and fast-forwarding tendencies. Not even close. I still have moments or days where I long for someone to share my life and dreams with. I do, I mostly definitely do. But I was recently reading a devotion on, and the author, Hayley Morgan, really spoke to my heart with the following:

“I was forever changed when I stopped looking to the next season to make my life better and started looking to Jesus. I started looking to Him in my times of waiting, in my times of enduring, and in my times of just getting through. When I looked to Jesus, I realized He would be with me in the Then but He was also with me in the Now. I didn’t need to get to a new season of life to know Him.”

We can’t fast-forward our lives, single friends! Instead, let’s focus on following Jesus, living life, blessing people around us and pursuing our passions in the Now. God is just as faithful in our Now as He will be when we arrive at our Then.

Molly Jasinski is passionate about a lot of things, including serving Jesus, spending time with family and friends, and cheering for the Green Bay Packers. You can follow her stream-of-consciousness on her personal blog or Twitter.

Additional Resources:

1. The #1 Mistake singles reported making last year was not taking a risk to start a relationship! Why do Christians tend to be so passive when it comes to relationships? Join hundreds of other singles and take a course that will teach you the top lessons I’ve learned in my career as a Relationship Counselor, and totally change your love-life in 21 Days! Learn more: 21-Day Program to Jump Start Your Love-Life!

2. Are you single, but want to know how to attract and keep the right relationship? Check out my book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life! Plus, read the Top 25 Dating Questions of All-Time answered in Section 4!!