Can A Woman Make The First Move?

In Podcast by Debra Fileta

Can a woman make the first move in a relationship? 

This is a question that’s always on my radar, because I know it’s going to come in about every single Q&A session I have – and let’s be honest, it’s a rather controversial topic. Truth be told, the answer to this question has changed over the years with the changing of culture and opinions and norms.

But it’s a topic that’s holding a lot of women back and it’s about time we had this conversation on the podcast.

Who Should Make The First Move?

For many years, the majority of people would have answered no to this question, saying that a woman shouldn’t make the first move in a relationship. Some people said it wasn’t their preference for a woman to initiate a relationship.

Others said it wasn’t biblical.

Still today, 35% of readers that I polled on the blog believe that it’s not okay for a woman to initiate a relationship.

But I respectfully disagree. 

There are four reasons why I think it’s totally okay for a woman to make the first move in a relationship, and today on this episode of the podcast, I’m going to break it down with why I think it’s perfectly okay for a woman to take initiative and make a move.

With a few exceptions that I’m going to cover, as well as a few things to be on the lookout for that signify a healthy relationship.

Whether you’re a male or female, you don’t want to miss Episode 018 of the Love + Relationships Podcast!


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Click here to read an outline of the Top 10 Relationship Killers. 

Resources Mentioned on the Love + Relationships Podcast and Additional Show Notes:

Enjoyed this episode of the podcast? Check out the episode about Junk Food Relationships: Healthy Relationships Aren’t Convenient

Or check out this mini episode and find out what I think about the concept of “Finding The One“.

Upcoming Events:

Singles Night Out: You do not have to journey through singleness alone! TONIGHT, (July 28th, 2023) at 8:00 pm EST, I am hosting a special 30’s Single’s Night Out, and on Friday, August 25th, 2023 at 8:00 pm EST, I will be hosting a 40’s Singles Night Out. Both of these events will be hosted on Zoom! These nights are going to be filled with fun, fellowship, giveaways, and encouragement.

30’s Singles Mixers: is thrilled to announce that we’re offering another single’s mixer! On August 13, 2023 from 8pm-10pm EST for ages 30-40. This event will have the feel of “speed dating” but in a group setting and in the comfort of your own home thanks to online technology and Zoom!! During the night, you’ll get to hear from and interact with each person in the group using audio and video technology. Spot’s are limited to 20 singles (10 men / 10 women) so submit your application today! You can learn more about applying to this mixer HERE


Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy RelationshipChoosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life.

DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sexand RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog,, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today!