Being attractive is not one dimensional.

Are YOU Attractive? Here’s how to know.

In Relationships by Debra Fileta

Did you ever wonder what makes some people attractive, and others, not so much?

Attraction is not as simple as we often make it. In studying attraction, it’s important to understand that we’re not just assessing one linear aspect. Sure, we understand scientific concepts like the “golden ratio” — the mathematical equation that is often attributed to beauty. But the truth is, looking back through history we’ll quickly see that the idea of physical attraction is constantly changing and evolving.

Different eras have brought us different ideals of physical beauty, and realistically, lasting attraction can’t be narrowed down to this one thing because of the fact that it changes so frequently.

Most often, people associate the term attraction with physical chemistry, but being attracted to someone isn’t just physical.

If it was just physical, then why is it that people often leave their boyfriend/girlfriend for someone less physically attractive? Or why do some spouses end up cheating with someone who is physically less than ideal? Clearly, there’s a lot more to a healthy relationship and a sense of attraction.

Are You Attractive on Many Levels?

Have you ever found yourself drawn to someone physically, until you got to know them?

Or maybe the opposite has happened. You met someone who wasn’t your typical “type” when it comes to physical attraction, but the more you got to know them, the more you were drawn to them.

Attraction is just that: the feeling of being DRAWN to someone.

Some people draw you in, others don’t. Which is why attraction has less to do with physical appearance than we often think.

Love In Every SeasonIn my newest book Love In Every Season, I talk about the Four Laws of Attraction, and explain that there are actually layers to this concept of attraction. We’ve got to find ourselves with a connection on all of the layers if we want to create a long lasting relationship.

The four laws of attraction are physical, emotional, personal, and spiritual.

You can’t have proper attraction if one of those things is missing in a relationship! So many people choose a heightened sense of physical attraction, at the expense of all the other laws of attraction. Or on the other hand, someone might choose a heightened sense of emotional attraction at the expense of the physical.

But that’s a recipe for fleeting love, not one that lasts. True attraction has to draw you in on every level. It’s not an equal percentage, but each of the four layers have to be present, because attraction is multi-faceted.

If you want to learn more about the four laws of attraction and what makes someone attractive to you — or on the converse, what makes you attractive to others, I encourage you dig into reading Love In Every Season and find out all about the laws of attraction as well as the stages that build a healthy relationship. I’d type out the entire chapter on this blog if I could, but I know my publisher wouldn’t be okay with that. [In fact, did you know that authors are not allowed to share any more than 10% of the content of their books on their blogs? So, if you think you’ve learned enough from, you’ve only just begun to skim the surface!!]

And for those of you who have already read the new book — thank you for your encouragement!! Every copy sold of this book goes right back into fueling the message and ministry of I’d be HONORED if you would take a moment to leave your review of Love In Every Season on Amazon today!

ORDER DEBRA’S NEWEST BOOK today!Love In Every Season

DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog,, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today!