Have you ever found yourself with an out-of-control crush on someone?
We singles try.
We try to plan our lives, and wash our colors separate, and feel successful at “adulting”.
Then our crush comes back into our well-ordered, sorted-laundry lives and messes it all up.
Maybe they liked our Facebook post out of the blue.
Or a friend mentioned their name.
Or some random object, thought, or interaction triggered their face to come back into your brain.
So, we become obsessed.
The most exciting aspects of our lives feel boring. We feel empty and tell ourselves we can only be filled when we get this relationship.
What’s a person supposed to do in those times when you’re crushing on someone?
The answers we receive are either “go get em’” from Seventeen Magazine or from more Christian sources something along the lines of “stop thinking about it”.
Stop thinking? Really?
We might as well tell our cardiac muscle to stop contracting.
I have a few better ideas. Why not use this irritating time of trial productively?
Instead of obsessing, here are five favorite ways to use this time for good:
1. Write a Prayer for your Crush
We think we know how to begin our prayers. But no, let’s backspace what you just wrote. Yes, delete “Hello, God, may I pleeease get asked out soon!”.
I said the prayer was “for him/her”. Take yourself out of the picture.
Sure, you can start your prayer by informing God that your crush is His greatest work of creation but we can all do more for our crushes than just that.
Move on to pray for your crush as Christ prayed for us. He tells His Father in John 17 that he wants us all to be one in the love of God. Isn’t that where you want your crush to be? In a love greater than you could ever give?
If he/she is pursuing God’s love above all else, that is the path to happiness. Maybe that plan will involve us and maybe it won’t. Since we know so little, it is a good thing God is the one who made those paths and not us!
Let your crush walk down God’s path for him/her and ask God to watch over them with a love one hundred times greater than yours. After all, doesn’t your crush deserves the best?
If you’re looking for a detailed way to pray for your love life (or lack thereof) you’re going to want to check out this devotional program: 21 Days To Pray For Your Love Life.
2. Plan of Attack
We have confided our crush to God but there is a problem.
What happens when we see him/her again? When the butterflies wipe all memory of prayer from our minds?
Should we walk past them and announce that we have no more to do with them; we have confided their soul to the Lord? If that sounds strange, it’s because it is. It is also the number one way to make your crush leave and never come back.
Instead, pursue a God-centered friendship. That is, after all, what the best Christian marriages are made of! All good friendships involve talking. Create a new page in that laptop and begin writing down ideas to talk about for when you next meet. Or check out this list of 15 Questions To Break The Ice!
What does he have planned for summer? What is on her book-reading list for this year?
Write yourself reminders as well: Keep the conversation light at first and don’t forget to laugh and smile. Laughter is the best way to indicate how well the conversation is going.
If you’re looking for some practical steps to take in pursuing a relationship, you’ll want to check out the 21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life Program.
3. Read Up
Although this may come as a surprise, we are the not the first ones to live through the drama that is having a crush. Plenty have gone before us and lived to tell the tale.
Why not profit from their advice? Search around to find Christian websites, books, and videos that will help you discern God’s plan for your love life.
Here are a few to get started:
- True Love Dates
- Choosing Marriage
- How To Live Life To The Fullest While Single
- How To Be Friends With Benefits (The Right Way)
- 5 Dating Mistakes To Stop Making
4. Find Someone to Talk To About Your Crush
No, not him. And no, not her. I’m not talking about talking to your crush – but rather, someone older and wiser.
I have found older friends work best in the advice-giving and mentorship. Find someone who is where you want to be in 10 years. Find them, tell them your story, and listen to their advice. God uses godly people to speak into our lives.
Plus, it feels good to just unload our minds on someone from time to time.
5. Don’t Feel Bad About Having a Crush!
Sometimes we might wish these feelings away. As we sit in church we see a young couple walking hand in hand and we think, if only….
“Why, after all God has given me, am I still unhappy?” we think.
“I wish I never felt this longing after someone else.”
But this is the best part.
This desire to love and be with another person is just a tiny hint of the great love God has for us. When we love, we are like God.
Don’t be ashamed of your desire for love. As humans, we live to love! We were made to love.
Allow your desires to bring you to the One Who truly makes us live. And if your crush is heading for the same place…well, all the better.
Teresa is a college student and writer on young adult issues. Besides fighting for what is good and beautiful, she also enjoys babies, debate, and Biology. Teresa is an ambassador for PragerFORCE and will be happy to write a piece of political or social commentary for your site. Reach her at teresasideas@gmail.com or follow her on Twiter @MyEudaimonSays
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