If anyone has lived under a rock the past week, it’s been me. The truth is, this Sunday March 6th, my husband and I welcomed our 3rd child into the world. We’ve been both enthralled and distracted in every sense of the word!
But even while living under a rock this week, I got wind of something particularly disturbing. I’ve seen some posts, comments, and articles floating around the web about the recent Kim Kardashian drama…this time, posting a nude selfie that apparently, “broke the internet”.
For some reason, this really disturbed me. I can usually block out the hub-bub of Hollywood, but being both a wife, and now, a mom of two boys, something about the buzz surrounding naked pictures made my stomach churn a bit. I’m left with a sense of disappointment, sadness, and frankly, anxiety at the perversion this world has to offer.
But as I consider the drama that has been making waves across the internet this week, I’m left with two important lessons that I believe, if understood and applied, could have huge implications on the way we live our lives:
1. The Things We Lust After Can Never Satisfy:
The very nature of the word “lust” implies wanting something we can’t have. Add to that, we live in a culture that is constantly trying to convince us that we need more. More money. More power. More friends. More sex. And after a while, we hear it so much that we start to believe it. We begin to lose our contentment with what we have and start looking at what we don’t have.
We lose our contentment in our singleness. We lose contentment in our relationship status. We lose contentment in our marriages. And instead of being happy with where we are and what we’ve been given we start believing that in order to be happy, we need more. More friends, more money, more relationships, more pornography, more sex…and on and on the downward spiral goes.
Because deep down, the need for more is always rooted in the lie that what we have is not enough. And in that lie, we’ll never be satisfied.
One of the reasons pornography on the internet is so addicting is because it thrives on the constant need for more, trying to fulfill a deep need that can never be quenched with “more”…because instead, it needs something “greater”.
As a Professional Counselor, I’ve worked with many sex and pornography addicts, and they all conclude this same exact thing: there’s something missing – but trying to fill that hole with meaningless “more…” always comes up short. That is why all throughout the bible we are warned about lust, because in our search for more we’ll always come up lacking.
Instead of ravenously looking for more, may God give us the strength to be satisfied with what we’ve been given, and the courage to dig deep and understand that our need for more can only be quenched from within.
2. The Desire to Be Lust After Will Never Fulfill Us:
There’s another kind of “lust” that we see in situations like this. It’s the lust for lust. It’s the desire to be wanted, to be longed for, to be appreciated. Why else would Kim Kardashian, and hundreds of thousands of teens and young women all across the world, have a desire to post nude pictures of themselves on the internet?
I don’t believe it’s out of a “lack of respect” for themselves, and I don’t even believe it comes from a place of ill intent or evil.
Simply put, so many women simply long to be desired. In each one of us, there is a desire to know and believe that we are wanted. And when it comes to this kind of behavior, I sincerely believe that women like this are desperately looking for that affirmation, and having a hard time finding it inside of themselves.
Because deep down, the need to be desired is always rooted in the lie that who we are is not enough. And in that lie, we’ll never be fulfilled.
Nothing that we give, nothing that we do, nothing that we can be will ever fulfill that longing to be wanted in the way that it was meant to be fulfilled. No nude pictures, no sexy text messages, and no gorgeous selfie can ever get enough “likes” or “comments” to give us the affirmation and validation we’re so desperately looking for.
Because that kind of validation can only come from within, placed in us by a God who sees us as valuable, and as worthy of His unconditional love.
There’s so much more I could say about this subject but at the end of the day, whether we’re the ones struggling with lust, or whether we’re the ones longing to be lust after, my prayer today is that God would give each and every single one of us a glimpse of WHO HE IS and WHAT HE HAS to offer us. That we would realize the emptiness in the things this world has to offer, and put our efforts into the great riches that can only come from within…rooted in nothing else but the unconditional love of our great God.
A God who gives us exactly what we need, and then reminds us that we are absolutely and completely enough. May we find our satisfaction in that.
Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, 21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life, and 21 Days to Pray for Your Love Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. You may also recognize her voice from her 150+ articles at Relevant Magazine or Crosswalk.com! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog! Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter!