What are some questions to ask a guy or girl when you’re trying to get to know them?
How do you even break the ice with someone of the opposite sex?
That’s one of the questions I got from a caller a couple weeks ago when I was answering relationship questions LIVE on the Relevant Podcast.
It’s funny how basic, yet how difficult the answer to this question can be. I think the hardest part about approaching someone of the opposite sex isn’t necessarily not having something to say, it’s just a matter of getting the courage to do it.
Christians have been wired to “avoid the opposite sex” for so long, that when they’re finally at a mature dating age, they still have no clue what to do when it comes to having a basic interaction with a guy or girl.
So much of having positive social interactions starts in your head.
I’m telling you, it’s the head games that fill you with fear and keep you from moving forward. For starters, we need to take a couple steps backwards and start to see friendships with the opposite sex as just that: a friendship. A chance to get to interact with someone knew and get know them just a little bit more.
And when you can see your interactions from that perspective and go into them with realistic expectations, the guy/girl interactions begin lose their awkwardness.
When you finally decide to approach that girl/guy you’ve been wanting to get to know, here are some great questions to ask a guy or girl you’re trying to get to know:
- What brings you here?
- How do you like the [current event] so far? [If you’re at an event together (church, class, concert, etc.)
- What books are you currently reading? (major bonus points if they answer True Love Dates 😉 )
- What are some of your hobbies?
- When you text, are you an “emoji” person?
- What’s the best movie you’ve seen this year and why?
- Do you go to church anywhere? How long have you been attending [this] church?
- What kind of music are you into?
- Are you a beach or a mountains person?
- If you had to choose a theme song for yourself, what would it be?
- What do you do for a living? Do you enjoy your job?
- What would your “dream job” be?
- What’s the last trip you took for fun?
- Tell me about your family. Do you have any siblings?
- Do you have any pets?
Remember friends, the success of your interactions depends first on what’s going on in your head and heart before it depends on your conversational skills.
So turn down the expectations nob, relax a bit, try out these questions, and then — let me know how it goes.
Comment below: What are some questions you’ve used to break the ice?
Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, and Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me where she writes candidly about love, sex, dating, relationships, and marriage. You may also recognize her voice from her 200+ articles at Relevant Magazine, Crosswalk.com, and all over the web! She’s the creator of this True Love Dates Blog, reaching millions of people with the message that healthy people make healthy relationships! Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter or book a session with her today!