10 Signs He/She Is Not Interested

In Advice and Encouragement, Dating, For the Guys, For the Ladies, Relationships by Debra Fileta

“We’ve been talking for a while, but I have no clue if he’s into me or not.”

“I’ve been getting some weird vibes and I’m not sure whether or not to ask her out.”

I can guarantee you’re not the only one who has thought through these questions, because I hear from hundreds of thousands of Christian Millennials from across the country and globe.

If there was ever such a thing as a “vague” culture – we’re living in it. When it comes to relationships and interacting with the opposite sex, Milennials are the most ambiguous generation. Not only have we lost the art of clear communication, but we’ve lost the ability to even know how we feel, much less express it to another person.

Gone are the “good ol’ days” our grandparents lived in, when a guy would simply show a girl his interest by flat out telling her, and asking her out on a date (or in my grandparent’s case, skipping the dating phase altogether thanks to the bluntness of arranged marriages, and pretty much proposing right there and then).

Maybe it’s because we’re scared to dig deep, to confront our own feelings, or to tell people how we really feel. But either way, instead of being direct, we live in a culture that tends to be indirect, hoping that the other party will get it somewhere along the way.

If you’ve been strung along in one of these ambiguous relationships, it’s time for you to assess the situation, and take control of it before it takes control of you.

Here are some signs that maybe he/she is just not interested:

  1. He/She rarely initiates phone calls or interactions, and you constantly find yourself being the one to call, text, and initiate first.
  1. He/She gives other people of the opposite sex the same or similar kind of attention that they give you.
  1. He/She can go weeks and/or months without seeming to need or desire interacting with you.
  1. When you’re together, the only time you feel that the relationship is reciprocated is when you’re involved in something sexual.
  1. He/She talks freely about other romantic interests.
  1. He/She gives you “electronic attention” via text or email, but doesn’t give you that kind of affection when you’re face to face.
  1. He/She may make plans but doesn’t stick to them. Something seems to always come up or they blame it on being too busy.
  1. He/She is hesitant to bring you into their world or introduce you to friends and family.
  1. He/She doesn’t make you feel special. For example, he/she isn’t thoughtful or doesn’t remember the details of your life.
  1. He/She generally doesn’t respond to your calls or texts with urgency, instead it could take days to hear back.

Healthy relationships are made up of two people deliberately and willingly giving of their time, their emotions, their commitment, and their energy. If you’re dealing with a relationship in which you’re not getting those four things, you’re selling yourself short and it’s time to walk away before you get hurt.

You deserve someone who is just as interested in you as you are in them. So believe it, and then wait for it.

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. You may also recognize her voice from her 100+ articles at Relevant Magazine or Crosswalk.com! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love! Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter

Additional Resources:

1. Are you ready for Love? Take my FREE Quiz right now to find out! 

2. Want to learn how to date in a healthy way that will help you find and keep love? Check out my book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life! Plus, read the Top 25 Dating Questions of All-Time answered in Section 4!!

3. The #1 Mistake singles reported making last year was not taking a risk to start a relationship! Why do Christians tend to be so passive when it comes to relationships? Join hundreds of other singles and take a course that will teach you the top lessons I’ve learned in my career as a Relationship Counselor, and totally change your love-life in 21 Days! Learn more: 21-Day Program to Jump Start Your Love-Life!