Just say no to bad dates. Or for that matter, bad relationships. Imagine how simple your love-life could be if you just agreed to that rule of thumb?
But sometimes it’s easier said than done, isn’t it? Sometimes, we miss the warning signs. Or worse yet, ignore them.
No matter who you, how desperate you feel, how long you’ve been single or how badly you’re looking for a date, please do yourself a favor and day goodbye to bad dates by avoiding these 10 guys like the plague:
Mr. Not That Into You
I don’t know what it is about this guy, but let me warn you- he’s addicting. There’s just something about the “unknown” (does he like me, or not?) that keeps you guessing and coming back for more. You can recognize him in that he knows how to talk the talk, but his actions never seem to follow-suit. But the biggest problem with this kind of guy is that he’s using you for as long as you’ll stick around. Do yourself a favor, and date someone who likes you as much as you like them. Don’t stick around for these type of bad dates.
Mr. On Again & Off Again
This guy will do anything to get you to stay on his roller-coaster ride of up and down emotions. One moment you’re “the one” and the next moment he’s confused, confined, and non-committal. What you need to know about this guy is that this isn’t a “phase”, it’s a glimpse of the rest of your life. Talk about some serious nausea. Time to get off the rollercoaster of bad dates – or better yet- never get on.
Mr. Out of Sight Out of Mind
This guy is sweet, charming, flirtatious, and basically everything you imagined him to be, while you’re around. But when you’re not around? Well, he’ll be that same sweet, charming, and flirtatious guy with the next girl. For him, it’s not about commitment, it’s about the moment. That’s definitely not a guy you can trust. Ever.
Mr. Keepin’ My Options Open
Oh yeah, he says he’s interested. He might even tell you he’s in love. But then why can’t he let go of his past? Why do you find yourself worried about who else he’s interacting with, and how he’s interacting with them? With the right guy there are no options- there are only relationships. And healthy relationships can only develop and progress when the focus is on one person at a time.
Mr. Let’s Get Physical, Physical
The thing that makes me crazy about Mr. Physical is that he’s SO OBVIOUS…yet so charming. He makes you think that he’s really into you- when all the while his primary focus is on what he can get from you. But even with his obvious advances and fixation on the physical, you’ll find yourself making excuses, giving more and more of yourself until it’s too late. Recognize him quick, and once you do, make a quick break. Don’t get stuck in the physical, because healthy relationships are built on so much more than this.
Mr. Sorta Spiritual
This is the nice guy most girls would fall for. He let’s you choose everything because he wants whatever makes you happy…even when it comes to your spiritual life. He may go to church on Sundays, have good morals, and even say the right things. But deep down, he’s only sort-of spiritual. His life has hints of Jesus (or so you tell yourself), instead of being DEFINED by Jesus. Don’t just settle for a God-fearing man, look for a Jesus-loving man.
Mr. I Don’t Wanna Grow Up
This guy will make you feel more like his mom than his girl. He’ll have you taking care of him before you even know what hit you. And you’ll like it, because it will make you feel important. But what you don’t realize is that a relationship with this guy is sure to be one-sided. So until he’s ready to put down the video games, pay his own bills, and do his own laundry…it’s time to move on to bigger…and “more mature” things- no matter how hot he is. You deserve a partner- not someone who needs a parent.
Mr. All About Me
He may or may not be the kind of guy who’s obsessed with his looks- but one thing is for sure, he’s obsessed with himself. He has all the answers and wants to date a girl who will just nod her head and smile. He doesn’t care what you want, or even who you are, because he makes all the choices and his preferences always trump yours. Stay far away from this guy, and look for a man who is marked by humility and selflessness…because only that kind of man can love you like you deserve to be loved.
You know all about his history. In fact, this guy has quite a reputation with the ladies. So why on earth did you convince yourself that things would be different with you? This guy will leave you with a broken-heart- just like he left the string of girls before you. Come to terms with the reality that you can’t change him with your love…or with anything else for that matter. Instead, find someone who you can love for who they are– not for what you hope them to be.
Mr. White Lies
A relationship built without honesty, is really no relationship at all. I don’t care if he’s lying about his age, his past, his family, or the color of his car….a lie, is a lie, is a lie. But most importantly, early on in a relationship it’s a big red flag. This guy is marked by a pattern of dishonesty and little white lies. Lies about things that might not even matter. But what matters is the habits that are being formed, and the facade that’s being maintained. A man who has nothing to hide becomes a safe place in which a woman can hide her heart. Look for that kind of a man
More Resources Related To This:
1. Are you single? On April 8th I am hosting another Singles Night Out over zoom! It is going to be a night of fun, fellowship, giveaways, and encouragement for singles featuring a Q&A with special guest Chad Johnson.
2. Want to learn how to date in a way that will help you find and keep love? Check out my book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life! Plus, read the Top 25 Dating Questions of All-Time answered in Section 4!!
3. The #1 Mistake singles reported making last year was not taking a risk to start a relationship! Why do Christians tend to be so passive when it comes to relationships? Join hundreds of other singles and take a course that will teach you the top lessons I’ve learned in my career as a Relationship Counselor, and totally change your love-life in 21 Days! Learn more: 21-Day Program to Jump Start Your Love-Life!
4. Whether you’re single or married, learn 8 choices you can make today to build a better marriage for tomorrow in this popular new book Choosing Marriage: Why It HAS To Start With We > Me.
Debra is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in dating, marriage, and relationship issues, along with a spectrum of mental health disorders and issues. She’s the author of True Love Dates, Choosing Marriage, Love in Every Season, Are You Really Ok?, and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the Love + Relationships Podcast, a hotline-style show where people call in to get their relationship questions answered!