What Makes a Relationship “Marriage Worthy”

In Advice and Encouragement, Dating, Marriage by Debra Fileta10 Comments

I’ve noticed a concerning trend among singles in America today. Too many singles are absolutely confused about what makes a relationship “marriage worthy”. Priorities are completely upside down.

And I don’t totally blame them. Hollywood is spewing romanticized lies about what love looks like. The media is setting unrealistic expectations about chemistry and infatuation. And the porn industry has everyone totally fooled into believing that a certain image actually exists.

I’m here to tell you that none of those things define love. Not one of them.

Love is not chemistry.
Love is not sex.
Love is not infatuation.

Love is not even that head over heels feeling you’re looking for.

No, real love, is so much more. And oftentimes, in search for all of the other things, it gets missed along the way. After a decade of marriage, I can tell you this much: real love is something that runs deep.

Real love isn’t found in someone who is sexy – but someone who is selfless.
Real love isn’t found in someone who is fashionable – but someone who is forgiving.
Real love isn’t found in someone who is popular – but someone who is patient.
Real love isn’t found in someone who is loaded – but someone who is loyal.
Real love isn’t found in someone who is gorgeous – but someone who is godly.

In marriage, there are so many qualities that actually matter, but those are the very ones that often get overlooked (see 1 Corinthians 13 for a really good list of some of those things).

You who are single right now, I challenge you to take a second look at your “standard” of what you’re looking for in a relationship and ask yourself this:

Am I after qualities that bring short-term pleasure, or qualities that will last a lifetime? The answer to that question will determine a lot. It’s time to get our priorities back in order and hold tight to the things that make for a meaningful marriage.

Learn more about what makes a relationship “marriage worthy”.

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life, and 21 Days to Pray For Your Love Life – where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. You may also recognize her voice from her 150+ articles at Relevant Magazine or Crosswalk.com! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog!  Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter or book a session with her today!

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10 Comments on "What Makes a Relationship “Marriage Worthy”"

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I love this article! Interestingly, it seems like those who are still single possess and look for qualities like selflessness, loyalty, patience and more but many who are married looked for many of those more surface traits. Not always, but many times. In all honesty, there seems to be little rhyme or reason these days.


This is a very astute observation!!!. It also indicates to me not to be too concerned with not being married. In many instances those married are not living a life more fulfilling than the one I am living not being married. This is a pity. I do believe marriage should enrich your journey. Sadly when the qualities mentioned are absent in a marriage, the marriage becomes burdensome and joyless.


This article is amazing and spot on how I am looking for a friend, mate, and eventually partner for life! God has to be first in their life and honoring Him I their life. That means having a relationship, being part of a church body, having a prayer life…it all matters!

Some say I am to picky, but I don’t believe so when it comes to the things mentioned above. God has a standard so why can’t I in who I am gonna spend my life with?!

Thanks for the post Debra!


Shay Johnson

Thanks debra, for this, please continue to pray over me on my quest to find a lifetime love, a good godly man.


I agree with you on those qualities. A godly partner who puts God first in their lives above everything else!


Thanks Debra.. Too many singles do not know this. Its amazing how too many folks run after things that’ll barely or never matter in the long run. God bless you Deb

Arslan khan

Its very very Nice article Dear,

But when we trying to find our true love mostly I observed that people are so materialistic that thing actually reason behind most of the persons are still confused about real life time relationship


Thanks, Debra. Reading these words is so refreshing.