We All Come with a Price Tag

In Advice and Encouragement, For the Ladies, Relationships, Single by Debra Fileta23 Comments

One evening, I was on a walk with a prostitute….

We’d become good friends over the course of my ministry to this specific inner city location.  That evening, I had pulled into the street to make some visits and happened to see her camped out on the street corner, looking for some business.

I got out of the car and walked over to her, and we started to chat.   If you know me, you know I’m not much for small talk, so I quickly got right to the point.  I knew she had been working at letting go of this particular “job”, and so I wondered what she was doing here today.

“So…What’s going on?” I said.

She looked down at the ground and replied, “Well, I’m in another bind, and it’s a way to make some money.”

I don’t remember too many details of our conversation that evening, but there is one thing she said through the course of our talk that I will likely never forget, because it made my stomach churn, my heart sink, and my spirit ache.

“50 bucks is real good money”

******

A few months ago I was having a conversation with another young woman.  She had been sexually involved with a guy who had now cheated on her.  But the problem was, they were never even dating to begin with.

Their interactions in friendship started crossing the emotional and physical lines, until one thing led to another.  Shortly after that they were regularly having sex and fooling around, with no commitment, no conversation, and no real relationship.  She came to chat with me after 4 months of this “relationship” left her with a broken heart, and a broken sense of self.

********

I can’t help but see a theme that connects both of these stories together.  Two different women from totally different parts of the country, from different socio-economic status, different races, and different ages.  But with one thing in common:

They each come with a price tag.  

But don’t we all?

If we’re really honest with ourselves, we will realize that this one very important truth is actually reflected in how we live our lives.  It may be a literal price tag, like the prostitute’s cost of a one-night stand- but more significant, it may be an emotional price tag.  Either way, it is a price tag that we each placed on ourselves based on what we believe we deserve.

No matter how we look at it, there is no getting around the fact that the giving of ourselves will ALWAYS come at a cost.   Whenever we choose to engage in any kind of relationship with another human being, there is always some sort of a cost involved.  It will cost us our heart, our spirit, our bodies, and our minds. It will cost our emotions, our time, our commitment, and our energy.

We always come with a price tag, and we will value ourselves with the price tag that we believe we deserve.

But even more sobering, we will be purchased at the price that we place on ourselves.  

If you believe you’re worth a measly $50 dollars–or an ambiguous relationship that revolves only around sex— that is exactly what you will get.

The most difficult truth is that there are some woman who set their price tag so low- because they are desperately looking for love.

But if you’re easy to purchase, you’ll also be easy to replace.  

My heart goes out to every woman who has ever settled and let her price down.  For every woman who has ever allowed her heart up to be wounded, broken, and bruised at the hands of someone who didn’t see the value that she truly possessed.  Daughter of God, no matter who you are or what you’ve been through – you are worth so much more than what you believe you deserve.

You have been purchased by a God who saw that you were worth far more than you ever could have imagined, and so He bought you at a high cost just to prove it.  You were purchased by the blood of Jesus- a God who gave His very Son so that you could have your value, your security, and your worth.  So that you could hold your head up high.  So that you could believe that you are worth magnificent, and you are worth remarkable.

It’s time for this generation of women to rise up and claim the price by which we’ve been purchased (1 Corn 7:23).  It’s time to recognize that our price has been set high, and that we are worth someone who sees the significant worth that was given to us by the God who makes things valuable.  It’s time to say no to lies that degrade our bodies, invalidate our emotions, and muffle our voices- making us feel small and insignificant.

Because what we believe about ourselves will always determine how we live.  

We all come with a price tag.  It’s time to start believing that we are worth so much more.

______

I hope you enjoyed this article, it’s one of my FAVES!! I can’t even believe it…the one-year anniversary of my book, True Love Dates, is right around the corner! In honor of this special anniversary, I am re-sharing some of my absolute favorite posts from the blog leading up to the big day: October 8th, and encouraging you to like, share, post, and tweet all your favorites by scrolling down below!

Next week (October 5-11th) will be #TrueLoveDates week, where we’ll be giving away tons of free stuff in celebration! Be sure to stay tuned, and subscribe by email to get all the details!

For more on understanding our value and our identity in Christ, and becoming healthy in the pursuit of true love, don’t wait to purchase your copy of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life.  I believe it’s a book that will bring healing, perspective, and change to many lives!

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. You may also recognize her voice from her 50+ articles at Relevant Magazine! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter

Comments

  1. This is by far the best post you’ve written. I often say that in this generation dating is very challening. Some men don’t really want to put in the time and effort to get to know someone because there are women that have made it too easy by giving of themselves sp freely.

    This article is so very true in that we all have a price. We can look and turn our noses up at the prostitute thinking we’re so much better, but really are we, if we’re giving of ourselves in the same manner. I’ve been battling with purity for awhile now but this article really hits home on why it’s worth it and why I’m worth the wait.

    1. Author

      Alex, thank you so much for your kind words…and I can’t tell you how much it means to hear that God has used these words to change your perspective and give you some motivation to see the value that was placed on your life. You make a really good point about the problem of giving ourselves too freely–I know that this is something God is challenging this generation to do differently, from both genders.

      Really appreciate you sharing your story, I know that your words are going to bring a lot of encouragement to others. Like you said, you are worth the wait. Amen. Thank you…Blessings to you!

  2. I am a 61 year old widow and this post rings as true for me as it does for Alex. Thank you, Debra, for sharing your insight with us!

  3. Great Article! I have purchased your book and have really enjoyed getting all of your blogs in my emails!! You are a blessing 🙂

    Tabi

    1. Author

      Thank you, Tabi!! I am so excited you got the book, and I really can’t wait to hear what you think about it. Please let me know! Thank you for your encouragement, it means so much to me and keeps me going. Blessings to you!

  4. I honestly loved this article! As a young 23-year-old girl who has been used and love-abused only to turn around and do the same to others, it spoke to the hidden, dusty corners of my heart that were filled with pain.

    I loved your words: “We always come with a price tag, and we will value ourselves with the price tag that we believe we deserve.” It rings true! Though I got baptized last year, I still went back to the very same patterns that were a part of my old life. Your article forced me to deal with a part of my life that I’m very ashamed of and hadn’t dealt with for so long. I’ve always known that I’m worth a whole lot but it never trully sunk in the way it did when I read this article. Had I clung to this truth 7 years ago I wouldn’t have allowed myself to go down the path I did; moreover, had I clearly understood that every person I come across is a child of God bought by His precious blood, I probably wouldn’t have used them. Reading this has given me a freedom you could never understand and knowing that Jesus still wants me just as I am is absolutely incredible!

    God bless you, Debra, for your work and this blog! Your words bring truth to my life

  5. I have now read several of your posts and this one out of all of them revved up my spirit. The truth in these written words resonated with me more than i can find words to express. I see God’s workmanship in you. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Author

      Amen! Thank you, Viviana…I am so happy to hear this!! Blessings!

  6. I have learnt and been taught through this article. God bless you even as you minister to us.

  7. Thats right. We’re blessed n highly favored coz His blood. Ur article touch my heart so deeply. Happy anniversary. I wait 4 ur post again Jbu

  8. I have absolutely enjoyed this article,all what you have said is true and am so touched that i nearly cried, because you have spoken to my heart and i needed to hear that and am glad i now know that we all have a price tag.In this life we live in we all pay a price in one way or the other,no mater the situation or status of a person.
    May God continue to bless you even as you bless others.

  9. From mid-way through 2001 to Dec. 31, 2003 was a period of time I have come to know as The Dark Years. I was emotionally broken and severely depressed, even to the point of asking God to take me home. I saw so much in those horrible years of people selling themselves cheaply. I must have seen hundreds of couples bicker over the trivial, and at ages across the spectrum. At work, I was nearly brought to tears when a teenage co-worker verbally abused his girlfriend – knowing he had enjoyed more with her in thirty seconds than I had in more years than he’d lived!

    All I can say is – Its unreal what being single can teach you about relationships.

  10. Wow, as a 20 year old young woman who has experienced some of these things, I can’t get over how much I related to the article. I gave my heart, body, and emotions away to a guy, and we weren’t even in a relationship either but he told me I was the only one. He ended up cheating on me as well, got another girl pregnant, and I have to deal with seeing her come to church with her belly growing, and I have to deal with seeing him too. Then to top all of that off, he was sexually abusive, and he manipulated me over and over again, and even denied that it took place. He questioned my spirtuality over the situation, and said I was being too insecure, which looking back on now was emotional abuse for sure, because all along he knew the truth about what he had did. I was shocked when I saw you had written something a girl had gone through and it was the exact same situation as mine. I now am going to focus on healing from this situation and seeing myself exactly how God sees me. I’m also going to start therapy soon, and I’m hoping this will help me develop a healthy relationship full of true love when the time is right. Thanks for the encouraging words! I now realize I am worth way more than what I allowed myself to be treated like, and I know that God will stengthen me and help me through this. I choose to be a better person, not bitter.

    1. Author

      Basically it’s the idea that we all have God-given value and worth- it’s up to us to believe it, and live it out.

  11. This is so true. I believe there would be a whole lot less promiscuity in the world if women really and truly understood they were daughters of the King. Isaiah 43 comes to mind.

    But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
    “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

    2
    When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
    and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
    When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.

    3
    For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
    I give Egypt for your ransom,
    Cush[a] and Seba in your stead.

    4
    Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
    and because I love you,
    I will give people in exchange for you,
    nations in exchange for your life.

    1. Those poor women. God gave nations in exchange for your life because you are precious in his sight.

      You are worth far more than $50 or some empty promises.

  12. As someone who within the last year has gone through sexual assault, I read this and a part of my heart broke, I have been struggling with finding and seeing my worth again. I have for the most part always had the underlying factor that my value has come from Christ, but regaining that back has been incredibly difficult. I wish that reading this post was all it took to remind me how much I am worthy to be valued but I know that there is much more to that. This post is really important to hear because I know there are a lot of women struggling in situations or relationships like these.

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