The Greatest Thing Two People Can Share In A Relationship

In Dating, Marriage, Relationships, Uncategorized by Debra Fileta13 Comments

When two people enter into a relationship with each other, something starts to happen.  Things begin to change, shift, and transform.  In a way, you start “rubbing off on each other”, and rightly so, because healthy relationships are always built on the concept of give and take.  A little of you, in exchange for a little of them.

There was an article going around about how Facebook can know if you’re going to break up, before you do!  The metric they used to figure this out is called dispersion, and it essentially measures the amount of friends you don’t have in common.  The study came to the basic conclusion that the more social connections you have, the better your odds at staying together.

Going along with that concept, one thing I’ve observed about the happiest couples that I know is that they live a life of sharing. Shared hobbies, shared beliefs, shared interests.  Shared family, shared friends, shared lives.  In fact, I’ve often heard from people that it seems like the longer you are married, the more you truly start acting alike (and some even say- looking alike!).  There is something really special about the concept of oneness.

But as beautiful as this concept is, “oneness” doesn’t just happen.  In fact, I have found that in the reality of marriage, everything in us wants to preserve the self as long as we possibly can.  It’s hard to let go of our rights, wants, and needs in exchange for the other’s.

The sign of life in a relationship is the beautiful exchange that happens when two people choose to each put the other above themselves.  Choosing to join one another in this thing called life.  Choosing to share with one another though they may have chosen other things standing alone.  Choosing to give, and even more challenging at times, to allow themselves to receive.

In one of my favorite books, A Severe Mercy, Sheldon describes the oneness that was experienced by him and his wife as a direct result of that which they shared. They described their sharing as the strands that tied them together, and held them close.

‘What is it that draws two people into closeness and love? Of course there’s the mystery of physical attraction, but beyond that it’s the things they share. We both love strawberries and ships and collies and poems and all beauty, and all those things bind us together. Those sharings just happened to be; but what we must do now is share everything. Everything!

If one of us likes anything, there must be something to like in it – and the other one must find it. Every single thing that either of us likes. That way we shall create a thousand strands, great and small, that will link us together. Then we shall be so close that it would be impossible – unthinkable – for either of us to suppose that we could ever recreate such closeness with anyone else. And our trust in each other will not only be based on love and loyalty but on the fact of a thousand sharings – a thousand strands twisted into something unbreakable.’

As important as it is to share the tangible, there is something even more meaningful.  This is the sharing that comes when two hearts, and two spirits connect as one.  The sharing of faith, grace and forgiveness.  The sharing of hopes and dreams. And most importantly, the sharing of knowledge and affection toward a God who holds all of those strings together – in this beautiful thing we call love.

I’m challenged to write this post, because I have heard from so many men and women who are getting really weary in waiting for love.  With each passing day, the waiting gets harder.  And sometimes, it’s easy to believe the lies that say that this is as good as it gets, and to settle for less than best.  If you’re heart is truly in love with Jesus, then “spirituality and good deeds” are not enough when it comes to finding someone to share your life with.  Because the greatest bond that you could ever share with someone, is a shared experience of your relationship with Jesus.  The presence of Jesus in a relationship is the strand that truly holds all things together, but more so, it’s the source that enables you to love unconditionally.

Consider the importance of a shared life, and marry someone with whom you can share every aspect of your mind, body,  spirit, and soul. Because the greatest thing two people can share with one another, is Jesus.

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life,  21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life, and 21 Days to Pray for Your Love Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. You may also recognize her voice from her 150+ articles at Relevant Magazine or! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog!  Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter

For more on healthy relationships, check out True Love Dates the book! Read what the Amazon reviews are saying!

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13 Comments on "The Greatest Thing Two People Can Share In A Relationship"

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Thank you for sharing those thoughts and truths. After reading your artical, it reminded me of my short time with my late bride. The things you said was true. We truly enjoyed being together. Her friends became mine and visa versa. Even going to chick flicks, because I was with her. Thanks for reminding injoying God’s sweet gift of life after her. God is so amazing and His word is true, in He will mere leave you alone. And to enjoy friendship as they came. By what you wrote, is true and the best. Before you know your not walking… Read more »
Mr Chris Penfold Ivany
Mr Chris Penfold Ivany

I have been waiting forever.


Wow! Am really blessed with this article. Remain blessed dear sister!!!


Women hate me.god doesnt want me to get married so i gave up on god and women.myself is done for good.its hard to trust god when he doesnt care about my love life.


Love This .Very Well said and So much Truth in this article. Thanks Much Sister.💗

Wow what a beautiful post. I just love the way you said the last line; ‘ the greatest thing two people can share with one another is JESUS”. This sounds like the old time Pentecostal preaching where the name of Jesus comes in every sentence without shame. It reminds me of two passages: 1. For I am determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified, 2 Cor.2:2 2. For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ for it is the power of God to salvation… Rom. 1:1 A good supply of Christian men,… Read more »

Debra,out of all the speakers and writers there are on the internet these days,your truly amazing.i skip allot of emails and articles,but yours…,I can’t resist .your an amazing writer,I bet an awesome person.May God continue to grant you the wisdom,strength as you continue to spread the gospel and spread his name higher.everytime I feel discouraged and down in my singleness,all I have to do is go to your website and I’m all good.i thank God for you and your family’s lives.Love you girl!!



Luke Urban

Thanks for the post Debra. This really encouraged me in my singleness right now. It has been hard waiting at times but the pray for your love life thing was great for me though I still struggle with this. Thanks for all you do and for how God is using you.


Great words! thanx Debra for this inspirational platform n may God continue to bless u with More wisdom.


wow!! God bless you Debra. Thank you.


Amen.May God continue showering you with that Heavenly wisdom!I’m single,waiting upon God but am going strong as a result of consistent reading on your articles.they really impacting life plus when I share them to my friends!


That actually was not cheesy when you brought Jesus into the conversation at the end. We’ll done! 🙂