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The #1 Dating Mistake People Made in 2017

In Dating by Debra Fileta9 Comments

At the close of every year, I ask my single readers to tell me the #1 dating mistake they made over the past year.

Because we can either learn from our mistakes, or we can repeat them.

Just this week, I had over 500 singles from all across the nation respond to my dating survey in just less than 24 hours after it was posted.

And the results were mind boggling.

The #1 dating mistake singles reported making this year was this:

They didn’t take the chance to ask someone on a date.


What’s so astounding about this answer is not the answer itself, but the fact that every year I release this “end of the year” poll, the #1 dating mistake is consistently the same. Year after year. Out of all the possible dating mistakes that could have been made this year, this answer always comes out in the lead.


My sincere belief is that so many singles are paralyzed by fear (more on that in the next post). Fear of making a mistake. Fear that they aren’t good enough. Fear of rejection. Fear that they’ll repeat the patterns of their past.

Fear is crippling. It motivates (and demotivates) people in a powerful way. It keeps you from moving forward. It prevents you from doing relationships well. And if you don’t learn to deal with it in a healthy way, it can be costly.

So how does a person begin to identify and tackle their fears toward dating and relationships? How do you get to a place where you’re willing to take chances, and push yourself in the direction of where you want your life to go?

You increase your awareness. You increase your knowledge.

You deal with your past.

You determine your identity.

You set goals for your future.

And by doing those simple yet often overlooked things – you begin to change your life, AND your love life. Because the more you know about healthy dating, the better you will do.

I believe in the power of this process – coupled with the grace and love of an incredible God.  And because of this I want to give you the chance to journey through my 21 Days To Jump Start Your Love Life Course. For just a few weeks, I’m offering this course at a 40% discount between now and January 1, 2018 (see discount code at the bottom of the article). 

I wrote this course specifically for anyone who feels stuck. For anyone who has been afraid to take those next steps in their love life. For anyone who is ready to make some major changes in their heart and in their life.

In it, you will learn about your past, make connections to your present, and figure out how to free yourself from patterns of fear, insecurity, and doubt that may be holding you back from opening yourself up to the right relationship.

Sign up for the 21 Days to JumpStart Your Love Life ecourse by clicking on the image below, and you’ll also be included in our exclusive Facebook Group with other singles who are going through the program. It’s safe place to connect and to encourage.

It’s time to learn from our mistakes and make some serious changes in 2018.

USE CODE: Jump2018 to receive your 40% discount at checkout. 

21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life CoverDebra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. Her newest book, Choosing Marriage, is set to be released in the Summer of 2018! You may also recognize her voice from her 200+ articles at Relevant Magazine,, and all over the web! She’s the creator of this True Love Dates Blog, reaching millions of people with the message that healthy people make healthy relationships!  Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter or book a session with her today!

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9 Comments on "The #1 Dating Mistake People Made in 2017"

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In my case, I did ask (and got rejected every time), but in hindsight not enough.


Also in my case…I thought I would put myself out there and reach out to someone I was interested in (but really hadn’t interacted with) and it was a flop.
Had someone start contacting me….we talked for a little while and that also ended up being a flop.
So there’s that. Lol

Shay Johnson

Amen. Thank you!


I selected that as my mistake, but the reality is, there was never an option to ask someone out (or be asked out). I am one of 2 Christian singles in my small, remote community (the other is also a woman) so dating is not an option. I tried the online dating thing a few years ago, but was disgusted with the number of matches that I found out were married or in serious relationships already. Not really sure where to go from here . . . . .

Jasmine Ruigrok

It was the only viable option for me too, so the outcome of the poll was not entirely accurate. There was no one around to ask; most people in my circles are already married.


I’ve always struggled to get even first dates, so I did try out Debra’s 21 day course. I’m sure it can be very helpful for many people, but do note that it says little or nothing about rejection and actually finding someone to ask for a date in the first place.

Thanks for the heads up. I’m still tempted to check it out (and maybe will with the reduced price point) but the biggest hurdle seems to be lack of options. A lot of women seem to already be in a relationship and it takes a while before you get to know them well enough to even make that determination in the first place. Also, I just can’t wrap my head around dating being a numbers game. Seems like most dating advice to men (secular AND Christian) intends the “machine gun” approach. Spraying requests indiscriminately and getting a couple “hits” for… Read more »
Sam S
I am learning to appreciate that for many singles (myself, unfortunately, among them), dating is a grueling practice — like a subject students struggle to clear in spite of their most determined efforts. This recent semester brought that home to me. I flew through algebra, while most of my classmates were reduced to exasperated questions during class, retaken tests, and tutoring after class. It was all they could do to comprehend it. But most of those same students had, with varying degrees of success, families and relationships of their own. Half of them had children. I’m in my late twenties… Read more »