What She Wrote About Singleness Will Blow You Away

In Advice and Encouragement, Single by Debra Fileta119 Comments

Have you ever had one of those moments when something someone says just resonates so much with you that it makes you take a step back?

*Sidenote: This post was published two years ago, but I felt the need to resurface it, because the emails I’m getting lately reminded that there are so many people out there struggling with singleness….read on, my friends!!!*

You know, those moments when someone puts words to your thoughts and you just want to shout “YES!”. A few days ago as I was reading through the comments from my blog posts (which by the way – I am committing to personally reading every single comment this year and replying to as many as I can keep up with!!), when an anonymous comment appeared by someone who called herself “TheLordIsMyShepherd”.

Her perspective on singleness- and life in general- was refreshing to say the least. I get so many emails each week from people all over the world discussing singleness, dating, and relationships. But this….this was different.

I thought to myself: this is so good…this NEEDS to be shared with the world. This woman is an example of contentment and trust in the face of really hard circumstances- namely, singleness. But her words apply to all of us in so many stages of our life.

Her contentment and complete trust are things that I am striving to achieve in every part of my life with Jesus. We could all learn from her. Read her comment below, and then leave a comment and tell me: what’s your response to what she’s saying? (And if you’re the woman who wrote this comment- reach out to me! I’d love to invite you to write a guest post for TrueLoveDates.com!!)

++++

“As a lifelong single woman who knows what it’s like to feel unfulfilled, undesired, and scared of a future alone, my heart breaks when I read despairing comments from others in the same boat. Not only can I relate to their pain, but I also feel so sad when I see some singles questioning God’s love for them. I think there’s a tendency to be disappointed in or even angry at God for what we perceive as His failure to provide us with the human relationships we need. So often we don’t stop to think that maybe the Lord does NOT want us to be alone and is just as heartbroken as we are that we can’t find a godly spouse.

The fact of the matter is that we live in evil times. True believers who want a real relationship with Christ have always been in the minority, but they are becoming even more scarce as we close in on the end times. Single women outnumber single men in churches three to one. God is not willing that anyone should perish, but we know that He doesn’t force people to turn to Him. If so few single men in the US have chosen Him, there will necessarily be many single Christian women without husbands.

Contrary to what some singles might think, I believe this situation grieves God. He clearly laid out his plan for most people, and it was the family unit–marriage and children. So He considers those things good. The fact that so many of us can’t achieve His plan must make Him very sad, I would think.

The reason I’m going on at some length about all this is because I’ve seen prolonged singleness gradually ruin more than one believer’s relationship with the Lord specifically because of this false assumption that the Lord WANTS all these unhappy singles to stay single. When we view God as the cause of our suffering rather than our refuge and walk away from Him, we lose the most faithful friend we can have. And that’s even worse than being forever single.

If you are struggling with singleness, please don’t assume that God isn’t on your side and doesn’t want the best for your life. Express your grief to Him, and let Him grieve with you. He has been rejected by probably 90% of the people on this earth–He certainly knows how you feel.

One more thing…If you’re a single woman, try to band together with other single women, especially older women who’ve been widowed or divorced and likely won’t remarry. While friendship isn’t the same as a marriage partnership, it can fulfill a lot of the same practical and emotional needs, and when you cultivate these kinds of friendships, you can at least be sure that you won’t be left alone to fend for yourself in old age.”

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Wow. To the woman who wrote this comment, all I can say is, preach it, girl!!! Your words have resonated deeply with me, and I know they will encourage many others. Thank you for your example of faithfulness!!

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. Her newest relationship book is set to be released in the Summer of 2018! You may also recognize her voice from her 200+ articles at Relevant Magazine, Crosswalk.com, and all over the web! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog!  Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter or book a session with her today!

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119 Comments on "What She Wrote About Singleness Will Blow You Away"

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Sophie
Guest
Wow…what a whole new way of looking at it!! Food for thought… Debra, may I suggest an article I’d love to be able to see on your site one of these days: How to know the signs of a good (or not so good) counselor/therapist if you are seeing them for depression. I have an appointment with one coming up soon at the church I told you that I attend sometimes but I know not all counselors/therapists are equal. I’d like to waste the least amount of time as possible and prevent further damage so I’d like to be able… Read more »
Anon
Guest
Sophie – I experienced the very same problem this time last year. A new kind of low came over me. It wasn’t the usual breakup heartache that I had experience before but it was desperation. I was tired both physically and emotionally of years of heartbreak and I hit an all time low. I went to my doctor who was very unsympathetic and did very little to help apart from do some blood tests to make sure it wasn’t a physical condition I was suffering from. I found a therapist myself from researching online who was close to home and… Read more »
Sophie
Guest
Anon, thanks so much for sharing your story with me. And I’m so sorry to hear of your pain from all you’ve been through and because of your mother’s passing. I have a difficult relationship with my mother but I know I will be absolutely devastated when the time times because I want my mom around, forever. I recently went to see a counselor for the first time at a large church I attend on and off and…I could tell it wasn’t the right match. Yes, she was very nice and you could see she was compassionate but there was… Read more »
Anon
Guest
Sophie – Someone sent me this encouragement when I was battling depression. I hope it helps you. “I AM TAKING CARE OF YOU. Trust Me at all times. Trust Me in all circumstances. Trust Me with all your heart. When you are weary and everything seems to be going wrong, you can still utter these four words: “I trust you Jesus”. By doing do, you release matters into My control, and you fall back into the security of My everlasting arms. Before you arise from your bed in the morning, I have already arranged the events of your day. Every… Read more »
anonymous
Guest
Sophie, I have been where you are as far as depression goes (I was suffering bipolar depression, which is clinically proven to be more severe than regular chronic depression), and although it is great to see a Christian counselor, do not forget that God is our “Wonderful Counselor!” I think of the song “Emmanuel” by Amy Grant. If you’ve never heard it, YouTube search it. It’s an old-school 80s song that I’m pretty sure I was literally dancing in the womb to. It really needs a 2015 remix, but it’s got a great message. Read the Word and pray. Listen… Read more »
Sophie
Guest
anonymous, thank you for your comment to me. As I have written above, I recently saw a counselor at a church (free) and I did not feel like I was in good hands. She was very nice and sympathetic but I just didn’t feel comfortable or confident. I am going to try a convetional therapist or psychiatrist soon and I’m hoping the next person will know what questions to ask me because I don’t really know where to begin or how to say the reasons why I am so depressed because there are so many reasons, that I can’t say… Read more »
Yulandi
Guest

Wow anonymous, you really a blessing, I’m single with 3 kids and for me its always been and looked impossible to thing I would never be married and will always be single.. and if there is one lesson I have learned is God is my all if it was bot for King Jesus I really don’t know where I would have been, He keeps me together… Blessings

Annie
Guest
Dear Debra, thank you for your very encouraging messages every day. I would really like to hear what you think about your thought about this. This morning I was listening to a daily message by Francis Chan through Desiring God, “Why Christian Singles Are Marrying Later – Episode 508.” In that message, Mr. Chan was saying that 90% of Christian Singles who are marrying later are sexually immoral. I was very shocked by his statement. Is this true? I am now in 30s and single female Christian who has a desire to get married to the right guy. I spent… Read more »
J
Guest

Can you please provide a link to this Francis Chan message? I can’t find it on Desiring God’s website anywhere….

Richie Choice
Guest
Wow!!! That was a great message to everyone not just for the single ladies or gents only but to all Christians. God doesn’t destiny anyone to be unhappy or lonely… Sometimes we make our choice and we end up making the wrong choice, of course not intentionally but irrational. “Deut 30:19″Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!” Sometime I heard people saying that God is… Read more »
Richie Choice
Guest
Newsletter from My Pastor Through the years I have seen that many times we sit back and wait on Jesus to do something for us, and we miss out on what is already available. Many people wait for the timing to be right, or they look for pastors and other people to agree with them. But with God and His promises, it’s always the right time. I encourage you to take hold of the promises of God for your life. Take personal responsibility for what you want from Him, and go after it. It may mean getting up, ignoring the… Read more »
Lee Winters III
Guest

How can I be part of the solution? I’m so lost………….

Alexa
Guest

This might be the best comment I’ve read to anything ever. I appreciate that she addressed the friendship/companionship angle. Having and being that support has made a huge difference for me!

anne
Guest

This is a good website.thank you for working on it.God bless.

Ed
Guest

Thank you for sharing, this is gold. To the sister who wrote that comment, bless you for your God given wisdom!

Keisha
Guest

Thank you for sharing the single woman’s perspective. I look to your site for encouragement and hope. I’m a single mom and want to be married. I’ve decided to place this area of my life in God’s hands. It has been an area of much focus and as a result profound pain. I know I may have to place it in His capable hands over and over but just as he helps me raise my son, pay my bills and start my ministry He is able.

Jen
Guest
Thanks for writing this awesome anonymous one! As fellow singleton I’ve found great comfort reminding myself of 3 things a mentor told me- He is good. He’s involved. And He is especially fond of me. As much as singleness is a disappointment to me it isn’t a surprise to God. (And like you said, I’m sure his heart aches with us). I can find rest in knowing the one who knows, and this spurs me on to look for what He has given me now and not fix too long on what I don’t have. Finding likeminded community to be… Read more »
Leti
Guest
I only realized recently that I have indeed been angry with God for my singleness and believed the very worst of His intentions for my life–that He intended to make me miserable to make me holy. My mistaken view of God was very similar to that of the flagellates in earlier ages who believed they had to mistreat their bodies in order to reach spiritual perfection. Thank you for sharing this comment with us all! Understanding how often God has experienced rejection puts our own situations into much clearer perspective. How can we love and appreciation from those who reject… Read more »
sunny
Guest

I’ve thought that, but that was so eloquently and perfectly stated! Thank you to whoever worded that so well! I will continue to re-read it! God bless you for putting it into words for me to read.

Dan
Guest
Debra, Thank you for sharing TheLordIsMyShepherd. I was encouraged and enlightened. God precisely knows where every needle in the haystack is located. I agree with TLIMS. As we seek God first and His Kingdom, all these things will fall into place. She mentioned “these end times” and I agree! As a single man not dating, I watch the chaos that goes on in the Christian dating scene. It’s frightening. People get hurt. I think the biggest problem with MEN in “these last days” is pornography! It’s free, it’s private, it’s safe, there is no commitment, and the man is in… Read more »
Allison
Guest

Oh my goodness, this article brought me to tears (in a good way). Wow wow wow. As a single, 26 year old woman, I’ve lately been feeling so alone and afraid that I’ll be “alone” forever. At times it’s felt like God is upset with me for my past sin and withholding a husband and children. But this post just brought so much encouragement and hope on such a (personally) painful topic. I need to focus on the truth of God’s love, not on feelings, and believe He hasn’t forgotten me. Thank you for sharing!

Sophie
Guest
Hi Allison, I too have thought that I’m being punished for past sins and that being the reason for my current suffering but I am on the fence. Yesterday, I was listening to a sermon by Vernon McGee in which he said that suffering is sometimes the result of past sins and I’m assuming that he meant that even if one repents and asks for forgiveness from the Lord, that we will pay for it in one way or another. (The whole reaping what you sow concept, I suppose). I really don’t know. I can think of a few sins… Read more »
Rachel
Guest
I agree with this post, the suffering of many singles all over the world is not Gods will. There were times when I thought that the situation with single Christian women outnumbering single Christian men, is not from God. Years ago my former youth leader said that he believed Christian relationships were being attacked by the devil. How can it be different, strong Christian marriages are a treat to the devils kingdom. As churches become more worldly, accepting the worlds ways and applying the Word less, it’s easier to attack the christian family. As the head of the family the… Read more »
Daniel
Guest

Thank you Rachel…………

Daniel
Guest

I am assuming you meant threat…not treat

Marissa
Guest

This is something I’ve thought about and struggled with as well. I know God doesn’t want me to be unhappy, but doubts and even bitterness still creep in as I see my friends getting married while I’m “left out.” Her comment is so well-written, and very encouraging and comforting. Thank you for sharing it!

Sarah Blocher
Guest
Contentment is key! Regardless of your relationship status, being satisfied, content, joyful with what is before you is more important that the status itself. If we are truly surrendered to God and strive to live {with our redeemed nature} according to His desires for us, than we will/do have everything we need for life and godliness. The following is from the “Resolution for Women” by Priscilla Shirer and served as a huge tidal wave of truth as I have been tossed and turned on this wild ride of singleness…struggling to be content with what I have (relationally) rather than too… Read more »
Inge
Guest
I agree with this! It’s quite true. Something I would like to point out though is that singleness isn’t bad either. It is actually also an oppertunity to do things for Christ that married couples can’t do. When you are married you have to prioritize your relationship with your spouse and possibly children, whereas a single doesn’t have that. I believe that marriage is beautiful and Godly and I believe that singleness can also be beautiful and Godly. I truely believe that maybe some of us are kind of called to be single so that we may be a bit… Read more »
Sarah
Guest

This is great! I appreciate more than ever every article written about singleness as although I’m sure churches don’t mean to, we are overlooked and it feels often looked at as faulty for not being able to find someone.

This lady has clearly developed a well rounded view on the subject, it did hit me to think that God is as upset as I am about it, that he’s fighting for me rather than giving me singleness ‘as a gift’ (I can’t stand that phrase) which in a way he is for a time but not necessarily forever.

Shelby
Guest
My search for a true mate has come up empty, though not for lack of trying. I’ve dealt with rejection and issues of self worth my entire life and the struggle continues. I’ve begun to think the common denominator in relationships ending Is me. My relationship with God has truly been questioned and wrestled with throughout this process and I’m still trying to make heads or tails of it. This site has been such an encouragement, particularly this post. This new perspective I’m hoping will get me through this day and tomorrow and the day after that for as long… Read more »
J
Guest
Debra – Thank you for amplifying this anonymous comment. It affirms what the Lord has convicted me in the past year as well – that being a single woman wasn’t necessarily his original plan for me, but is partially a result of the brokenness of the world, and of my own brokenness as well. He frequently reminds me to trust Him, that He is good, and that will use my singleness for good and redeem it. Sanctification is the ultimate goal, whether in singleness or marriage. I love the idea of creating a community of other singles in our old… Read more »
TKL
Guest
I appreciate the sentiment of the post, though this passage was a little confusing: “So often we don’t stop to think that maybe the Lord does NOT want us to be alone and is just as heartbroken as we are that we can’t find a godly spouse.” Better to be alone and want to be married than to be married to the wrong person/non-believer, I take it? If the Lord does not want us (meaning singles, myself included) to be alone, why does He not make a spouse available to us? God is in control of everything, gives us the… Read more »
Gen
Guest

AWESOME post, thanks for sharing this with all of us.

Dee
Guest
Debra, I (sort of) understand where TKL is coming from. I often see people at work being ‘blessed’ with a spouse (the one thing you want but are not getting) and these are people who don’t even give God a thought. It hurts my heart that they are getting what I would like to have and here I am trying to put my relationship with the Lord first and foremost and basically feeling miserable. I know in my heart we are not to be envious of those who get what we want, but to be happy for them. I once… Read more »
Emily
Guest

Hi Debra,

Thanks so much for the article. I would be curious to know if any of your other readers have been struggling with establishing strong friendships with other single Christians…I do agree that friends help a lot, but I’m getting very discouraged, because it seems many people today that call themselves Christians are living a worldly lifestyle. Would love to have a mentor/prayer partner but I am finding one that’s’ equally yoked’ hard to find. Would appreciate your thoughts….feeling very lonely these days and long for Christian community!

Rachel
Guest
Hi Emily, Maybe we shouldn’t be focused on establishing friendships only with single Christians. Most of my best friends are married. My prayer partner is also a married women and she never makes me feel like I’m less than her. We pray for each other’s struggles both in marriage and in singleness. There are also couples I’m friends with, so don’t shut out the married people. And what about the elderly, there are many senior Christians who are lonely and you can get lots of wise counsel, life experiences and advice from them and have lots of fun too! Their… Read more »
GodBlessKid
Guest
God is really an awesome God. It was just now I was seriously having an emotional turmoil of being single and I really felt like I was going to encounter my first depression, but thank God for prayer. I simply prayedand really poured out my ffrustration and asked for a word and somehow I ended up here. I am still in awe of what just happened. I just know this word was for me. Ask and it shall be given :). Amazing God. May the Lord continue to bless your ministry Sister Debra and even the lady who made that… Read more »
Claire
Guest

Thank you for sharing this. Woww she spoke the truth and I believe she is the only i have read to have pointed that fact. One where we know it exist yet too blind to notice. Thank you for this eyes opening post.

Samantha
Guest
Great post! It almost got me into tears! I never thought of it like that. At least, not exactly… I do know that there aren’t many young adults at my church, so it’s hard for me to meet a Christian guy, but I didn’t realize that of course this means God has been reject it too and grieves just as much as we do. I still have hope for the future. I trust God and I am still young. But if I end up a lifelong single, I know I will still have God to turn to 🙂 Thank you… Read more »
Freddie
Guest

Maybe it’s because I’m a man, or maybe because I’m not Christian enough, but nevertheless I don’t really understand this. Sure, it’s quite possible that God is grieving, but it doesn’t make me any less single, or lonely. Sure, God doesn’t force people to love him (apart from threatening with hell), but he could certainly put in some effort in making churches, and faith in general, more attractive to young single men, instead of that grieving.

Ogbonne
Guest
Amen to this post! And I thank God that I found this site when I did, a couple of days ago. I haven’t experienced the enormous pressure that a lot of singles face because I haven’t gotten to that age where, in the part of the world where I come from, people find your singleness odd. However, the older I’ve gotten (especially within the past year) I’ve grown jittery concerning marriage and singleness. This is ‘cos as much as I want (and may someday yearn) that companionship of a spouse, with what I see in today’s world I would hate… Read more »
Ogbonne
Guest

…And here’s something else I realize: through all, the Lord is my Shepherd. Yes, the Lords prayer very much applies to the period of singleness as it does other aspects of our lives.

Rhoda
Guest

A great piece, I must say. Thanks to the lady that commented and thanks Debra for sharing. God bless you both.

Iya Angulo
Guest
This reminds me of Elisabeth Elliot and Gladys Aylward’s conversation. Gladys’ answer is echoing.., She(Gladys) talked to the Lord about it(marriage). She was a no-nonsense woman and very direct and straightforward and she asked God to call a man from England, send him straight out to China, straight to where she was, and have him propose. I can’t forget the next line. With a look of even deeper intensity, she shook her little bony finger in my face and said, “Elisabeth, I believe God answers prayer. He called him,” and here there was a very brief pause and an intense… Read more »
Alvin
Guest

I am speechless. The maturity and love with which these words were written is beyond description. God bless this lady whoever she is. Amen.

Ally
Guest
I love this little reminder. I am 27, and in the last 3 years I have seen and been a part of my 4 best friends’ weddings. I am the last one that is not only unmarried, but completely single. I have dated the worst guys, and they did not know Christ. Of course, at the time, I didn’t know Christ like I do now. It is becoming more difficult to see people move on in their lives while I am here. Alone. BUT then I have to check myself and remind myself that I’m not alone. I have a… Read more »
Rommy
Guest
I’m crying my eyes out. I just got home from a high school girl friend’s wedding, and just found out via social media that a guy who broke my heart about 5 years ago is getting married (no, I wasn’t stalking him, we have mutual friends and one of them mentioned it) so I’m at a sensitive spot I guess… what I read here made me really sad, but it also really comforted me. However, I ask myself.. is there anything that escapes from God’s hand and plan? If I’m 26 and still single it must be because God ordained… Read more »
Michelle
Guest
“If you’re a single woman, try to band together with other lifelong single women, especially older women who’ve been widowed or divorced and likely won’t remarry”. – being divorced, isn’t something I chose. It’s horrible being in your late 40’s and now single. We have children. All my Godly women friends are married. It’s depressing because you don’t fit in at church or anywhere else. You don’t hang with the 20 somethings, the 30 somethings at church. You simply don’t fit in. My non Godly single friends are living with their boyfriends. This is depressing. “God is greived” -how does… Read more »
Anthony
Guest

I hate being single. Never married had horrible luck with women almost gave up on God but didn’t. I have a desire for love and sex but never get anywhere with women always feeling they don’t like. I just now want God to deal with It I can’t anymore so worn out.

Leanette T
Guest
Rachel, your words hit home with me. Where is the balance? I’ve never been a believer nor supporter of women pastors, and became truly struck when attending a former church, the number of women leaders who’d since attained pastorship. And found it odd and rather noncomforting, a few who appeared to disrespect their own husbands, who’d long serviced in leadership themselves. I’ve heard over the years, from several married men and many divorced and single ones, how piteous the role changing has indeed “shaken the canister”. How concerning it’s become with not really knowing anymore, where the man stands, outside… Read more »
Emily D.
Guest
I think part of the problem with how we view singleness and relationships is that we see dating and marriage as milestones in life to be reached and checked off the list. As a 22-year old single woman – who has never been in a relationship – I have given this subject a lot of thought and a lot of tears and a lot of prayer. I think we really have to stop viewing marriage and ‘finding the one’ as part of our purpose in life. God has been challenging me lately to find my identity and comfort and partnership… Read more »
Rachel
Guest

I disagree about how non marriage friendships can help you out practically. When you’re single, you have to do everything yourself: bills, chores, etc. Go to Relevant and look at their most recent article on being single.

And instead of just whining about singleness and the state of the family, how about we do something about it? Like challenging men to take God seriously, that real men don’t look at porn, and don’t call feminism the spawn of Satan but should actually treat women as equals?

Layaah
Guest

I needed this today. Today I turned 27 and it’s been a rough road watching my younger siblings find people and marry, wondering what’s wrong with me, why I can’t find love. But it’s encouraging to think about God’s heart breaking with ours and not being the cause of our disappointments. Thanks for another perspective.

Tom A
Guest
The power of community is a real thing. It provides real support. I’m in the process of switching from a nice large church to a nice smaller church so that relationships with older church members are easier to build. I’m also trying to shift my hobbies from solo pursuits to doing them in group contexts. While this won’t fill the shape of the hole that a marriage would, building relationships and a healthy social circle definitely help take the edge off of loneliness and provide purpose. One thing I’ll say as a 30-something single guy is that it’s easier for… Read more »
Leighann Blackwood
Guest
This is such an interesting way to look at it. I love the idea that God grieves with us – honestly, that makes me feel a lot better. I know how much my parents desire for me to find someone and make a life with them–how much more does God (my heavenly Parent) desire that? I also had a thought though: while I really appreciate this perspective and totally agree that God grieves with us and as our good, good Father, desires good things for us. I also believe that nothing is impossible for God. As believers and followers of… Read more »
Shay Johnson
Guest

Thank You very much for this words, you spoke exactly what I’ve been dealing with, the loneliness, I know god loves me, but my god, it’s hard, i want to find a godly man to marry and hope to spend my life. People you can trust these days no more. I don’t like the nights, where i dream or imagine being kissed , i used to make friends, not be worry or nervous of things, I want to be brave less, fearless and be invincible for Christ. Thank you for sharing this, thank you! God bless!

Deborah
Guest
I came to the same conclusion about a year ago I think, I am 37 never married. For a long time thought ,why this was my path when He had put on my heart marriage and family from when I was a little girl, and though I was mad at him at times for his assuming failure I came to a place where I felt he grieved with me and for me and my situation. The situation of the world has only gotten worse in the years that I have seen it, and I see more and more men refuse… Read more »
Anonymous
Guest

Not sure if I agree with this. It seems like a contradiction or an oxymoron to say that God is sad about this situation, as if He can’t do anything about it. Isn’t He all powerful? Don’t we constantly talk about how He can work miracles and do whatever He desires to do? It logically doesn’t make sense to say that he is both sad about the situation and all-powerful.

Shelly
Guest
If there are fewer God-seeking single men out there, what implications does that have in the long term for God-seeking women? I struggle with this question because it seems like (I say seems like intentionally) we, the women, are ‘suffering’ because of fewer men looking to God. I’m attempting to reconcile this with God’s omnipotence, as the initial thought would be that, as the almighty, surely he can prompt hearts, even though he wants people to turn to him of their own free will. I know that men and women need platonic relationships, and those are invaluable. I’m wondering how… Read more »
Tom A
Guest
I will also add that the situation is not as hopeless as it seems. I have a lot of good-quality guy friends that are still single. Being a guy is not a magic ticket to an automatic marriage. The world is a messy place, and there are a lot of circumstances that can affect things. Not everyone gets married at 22. Personally, I went to secular universities, where there weren’t good options, and then in the working environment I have landed in there are not good local options. Hope exists. There are guys out there. I’m glad there are so… Read more »
Brian Howell
Guest
God wants you to find your soul mate. But you need to be able to find happiness in and by yourself and have right relationship with God first. Unless both couples join with right relationship to God, we are going to continue to have divorces, which can be even more painful than being single all your life. You should be self reliant not rely on another human being to bring you happiness. Instead share the happiness you already have with God with your Soulmate. A key to successful marriage is when BOTH couples are already self reliant and already happy… Read more »
Crystal
Guest

This is a great post. I just had a similiar discussion with a friend who said she felt like God had left her. This was post break up from another guy. I myself have been singke for a while as well, but I know that God has my best interests in mind. I keep reminding myself that if God closes the door leave it shut cause he will open a better door for me when he feels I’m ready. I like this post as she remains positive about being single.

T
Guest
I recently discovered that it is very common for my MBTI type to remain single longer and to marry later in life than other types. I can’t tell you how much peace this information has given me – I wish I had known this 25 years ago. All to say that while I and others were busy trying to figure out what was wrong with me, men, God, my parents, society – nothing was really “the problem.” Yes, there are always going to be potential barriers and areas of personal improvement, but I’m just a little bit different than other… Read more »
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