Lonely You

In Advice and Encouragement, Relationships, Single by Debra Fileta6 Comments


Jesus understood it.  He not only understood it, he experienced it.  He knew the feeling of being left by his dearest friends.  He felt the pain of being betrayed by the ones He loved.  He lived the reality of being disowned and rejected, and of being left alone.

When looking at the passion of Christ, we tend to focus on the physical suffering that he went through, so much so that we forget the emotional journey that He experienced.  But the emotional turmoil that He took on is an important reality to consider- because there is a component to it that many of us go through each and every single day.

The reality of living as a man exposed Jesus to the brokenness of humanity- and in turn, the brokenness of the people He loved the most.  There’s no getting around it.  People let Him down.

Maybe you can relate.  Maybe you, too, know the sting of rejection and the pain of abandonment, the despair of injustice.  Maybe the word loneliness holds a place in your life that you never imagined it could.  Find comfort in two things.

First, find comfort in the truth that the God of all creation allowed Himself to go through what you are going through.  Find comfort in knowing that when you are hurting, alone, and afraid- he has been there too.  He gets it.  He hurts with you because He has felt what you feel.

Second, find comfort in knowing that when everyone and everything fails and you find yourself all alone…you are not.  You will never be.  To the depth that you are able to feel loneliness, He is able to give you companionship.  To the deepest part of that hole you feel in your heart, He is able to fill it up.  You are not alone, because your Father God is right by your side.  You may not always feel it, and so it may be hard to believe it, but you must never allow your feelings to dictate your reality.

“And remember that I am always with you until the end of time.”

Reflect on this truth.  Allow it to sink into your heart.  And take heart in the truth that you are never, ever alone. 


  1. I know I should find comfort in this…
    But when I think about all that Christ went through, my loneliness feels insignificant. I mean, really…I can only speak for myself, but I haven’t experienced anything remotely close to what Christ did/has/is. Instead of blessed assurance that my Savior understands what I’m going through, I’m only reminded further that I’m – for lack of a better term – “crying over spilled milk.”

    Most of the time my feelings feel insignificant – because in the grand scheme of things, I have life, health, and salvation… and I shouldn’t really feel sad or angry or even alone. But I still do.

    So, what do you do then? How do you shake what feels like an even darker loneliness…insignificance?

    1. Author

      Kertersha, thanks so much for your insight and honesty. It’s a hard question you post, but the first thing that stands out to me is this: You need to cut yourself some slack! I wonder if you judge yourself a little too much, feeling like the struggles you have are insignificant in light of what Jesus went through.

      If that is how we measure our struggles, than we are all crying over spilled milk. But I don’t think it’s about that. I think we are in desperate need of validation, knowing that our struggles matter and are significant- no matter what. There are so many people in the world going through harder things than me, or you…but your struggle is your struggle. Your cross is yours to carry, and you need Jesus to do it as much as anyone else. There is no shame in that. And He will meet you right where you are at.

      You are allowed to feel alone. In fact, I think it is only in these moments of weakness that we really get to see His power. He get’s to comfort us, and hold us in those moments. And I think He’s okay with that. But don’t take my word for it, take His 🙂

    2. Kertesha,
      When I read your comment, my first thought was of the psalm where the writer says “who is man that you are mindful of him?” ( I looked it up– yay biblegateway!– it’s Psalm 8). I think the psalmist here starts to feel a bit insignificant here, too. Especially since he writes this after writing about God making the heavens, all creation, and the stars.
      And instead of staying in this rut of insignificance, the writer rejoices. He praises God. Instead of focusing on ‘who is man’ he focuses on ‘You are mindful of him’.

      I agree that in comparison to what Jesus suffered we have no room to complain or feel lonely or anything. But I don’t think that that is the point. I think the point is that God cares. He doesn’t have to, really. He’s God for goodness sake. But He does care. And that’s why he sent Jesus.

      So instead of feeling insignificant, feel encouraged. God’s love for you couldn’t be stopped. And no matter how sad, angry or alone you feel He is still there and still loves.

      Feel honored that he cares. Feel humbled that he cares.
      And spend some quality time with the one who truly knows your sadness, anger and loneliness and is the only Solution.

  2. I’ve been thinking about how the past two years have been the saddest, loneliest period of my life after going through a devastating breakup. Your message is a beautiful reminder of how His presence and His grace have kept me going every single day. Thank you. 🙂

    1. Author

      Wow, Patrice….thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful testimony of Gods faithfulness in your life. Even in hard times. May you feel Him close every single day. Blessings to you!

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