How To Get A Date By Tomorrow

In Dating, Relationships, Single by Debra Fileta8 Comments

Want to get a date by tomorrow?

With someone special? With someone interesting? With someone who deserves a chance to be known? With someone who has the potential of changing your life and even your future?

If you answered yes to the above, consider this: why not date yourself? Because if you haven’t, you probably need to. And if you already have, there’s always the opportunity for more. 

Before you tune out, just give me a chance to explain. And even keep an open mind. I’m not talking about getting all dressed up and taking yourself to dinner and a movie (because that may or may not come across a little creepy). I’m talking about the first of three components to a healthy relationship.

Dating Inward.

Since True Love Dates released a year and a half ago, I’ve heard from countless men and women about how significant the concept of “dating inward” has been for them.

True Love Dates begins it’s approach to relationships by saying that before any significant relationship comes along, you must invest time and energy in getting to know yourself: allowing God to shape your identity and begin healing you from the inside out.  

That part of dating can start right here…right now.  No matter what your relationship status. 

Dating inward is the act of looking in and deeply getting to know yourself.  It means taking the time to deal with your past, work through your present, and envision your future.

Far too many people become so fixated on searching for someone to love, that they end up losing themselves in the process. And their relationships suffer for it in the end. 

We have a tendency to get so wrapped up in what we are looking for and what we want in a relationship, failing to realize that a relationship is made up of two people, and we are half of the equation.  As I write in True Love Dates,

“We live in a society that is so fixated on knowing others. Men and women are encouraged to get out there and date, to get to know people in hopes of finding a permanent match.  They spend months, even years in pursuit of the person they hope to spend the rest of their lives with- forgetting that the rest of their lives in marriage involves not just one individual–but two.

At the end of the season of dating, you will have invested copious amounts of energy and countless hours getting to know the person you will be standing with at the altar, but what about the other person?  What about yourself?” (pg. 19)

Dating inward requires a shift in perspective that puts the focus on who you are, rather than who you’re with.  It’s the first of three components to a healthy relationship, and it’s a significant part to your story because healthy people make for healthy relationship.  Whether you are in a dating relationship or not, you can begin the hard work of healthy relationships long before you’re married. Why not start today?

Are you ready to date yourself?

For more on how to “date inward, outward, and upward” check out my book, True Love Dates! It’s revolutionizing people’s hearts and lives. See for yourself why it has over 150 reviews with a 5-Star Rating on Amazon. 

Have you dated inward, and now you’re ready for some practical steps to starting a dating relationship? Check out the 21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life Program!

Comment below, I want to hear from you!!! Have you taken the time to “date yourself”? How so? What has dating inward meant for your life and for your relationships? 

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. You may also recognize her voice from her 100+ articles at Relevant Magazine or Crosswalk.com! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love! Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter

Comments

  1. I seem to have a lot of trouble understanding what dating inward is and I find I can’t answer much of the questions. I don’t understand how I’m so blind…….

  2. True Love Dates was definitely very helpful with this concept, especially with the importance of really looking at my parents to see how their strengths/weaknesses have impacted me. For instance, because my mom tends to be controlling, I need to make sure that I watch out for that in my life and not be super critical of everything someone does. Thanks Debra for your frequent blogs and book!

  3. So I read True Love Dates about a year and a half ago and was sold on dating inward. I did that all last year and dealt with a lot from the past to heal and come to a better point. I took a break from dating myself to date another person, but that didn’t go anywhere. I resumed to date inward and focused on the present. It has been enriching and even now I’m coming to a point that is really digging up some gold nuggets in getting to know myself better. Dating the future has started to overlap as well and it gets exciting. I won’t lie, it’s required alot of attention and effort, which has paid off, but I’m starting to get antsy. The problem I have is that I see more areas I can work on, but if i do continue in that when do I draw the line and say enough is enough? This is coming from someone with perfectionist tendencies. I guess I need to engage with God for wisdom on where to draw the line to consider it healthy for myself… But ya, that’s been the underlying issue as of lately. Could someone help a confused brother out? Thanks! 🙂

  4. How do you get to know yourself? I feel like i know what i like and dont like, the areas i’m weak and strong etc… what is dating inward supposed to accomplish exactly

  5. Until you discover who you are, you may not be able to identify who and what you really need. I totally agree with Debra. One of the most important steps towards building a healthy and enriching relationship is to date oneself. Invest time and resources into yourself. Discover your strength, your weaknesses and work on them.

    Dear Debra, you are really doing a great work here. Thank you for sharing all these lovely info with us through this blog . I am a big fan.

    Abel from Nigeria

  6. Dating with oneself – discovering who you are? It’s the work for eternity. While doing it you will never have time to watch your destiny or find the person for marriage, i guess.

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