4 Reasons Your Church Needs a Singles Ministry

In Single by Debra Fileta14 Comments

On my journey of becoming an author and speaker – I’ve had the privilege of meeting some incredible people. One of those is Pastor Chris Reed. He’s the Singles Pastor at Saddleback Church, and he’s become my brother-from-another-mother. He’s in charge of a thriving singles ministry in Lake Forest, CA. I visit Saddleback Church to teach seminars a few times a year, and let me tell you – they love their singles. And they do singles ministry SO WELL. I invited Pastor Chris to guest post at TrueLoveDates.com today, because he has such an important message to share. Give this post a read and share it with your church leaders and staff…and then, be praying about how God wants to use you to start a singles ministry in your church or community. #GodLovesSingles #SoDoWe — Debra

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I recently began writing a book to churches on how to do Singles Ministry. In the introduction, I’ve listed important reasons why churches need to have a specific ministry to Singles. So, when my friend Deb reached out to me and asked if I’d like to share my thoughts on her blog regarding Singles Ministry in the local church, I was thrilled for the opportunity.

Over the years, I’ve had the tremendous blessing of meeting and listening to hundreds of volunteers, staff and pastors from other churches around the world. This occurs while attending and leading church health conferences, giving tours of our church’s campus to visiting church teams, and through the many emails and phone calls I receive each week from curious men and women looking to better serve the people in their church community.

Since my main responsibility at Saddleback is to serve our Singles, the conversations I have with these wonderful leaders always gravitates toward Singles Ministry in the local church. The question that almost always pops up is, “Why do we even need a Singles Ministry?”

This is usually followed-up with, “Won’t it just turn into a meat market?” and a similar variety of other ignorant statements.

I completely understand their questions and concerns. Being a Pastor since 1995, I used to make the same type of oblivious statements before I began serving Singles ten years ago. Now, I know better and encourage other church leaders to have a focused ministry to Singles.

Here are the 4 most important reasons YOUR Church should have a Singles Ministry

#1 Because Singles are in every Church.

Each church consists of men and women who are either Single or Married. As a church, we need to not only minister to the specific felt and real needs of each gender, but also the unique needs of each life stage.

Have a place for Singles to be served and to serve each other. Who is better to help Singles, than other Singles? Enlist, encourage, and equip healthy Singles to minister to hurting Singles.

Also, Singles love being with other Singles.

 #2 Because Singles need Jesus.

The best way churches can reach the Singles in their local community is through other Singles. It’s important for church leadership to inspire and instruct their Singles to reach out to people in their circles including friends, family, neighbors, co-workers and classmates. To help better facilitate this, churches should have a place specifically for Singles to gather.

Also, Singles love being with other Singles.

#3 Because Singles need a Church Family.

God doesn’t want Singles to live in isolation. Psalm 68:6 tells us, “God places the lonely in families…” That’s what our churches are…a family where people can know others and be known. Give them a place to worship where they will have a greater sense value and not feel like a third wheel.

A ministry to Singles will help Singles stick to the local church. Make it easy for them to connect by providing spaces and programs where they can meet for the purpose of developing true biblical community (aka – friendships) with other Singles.

Also, Singles love being with other Singles.

#4 Because Singles want to get Married.

More accurately, most Singles want to get married. Too many marriages end in divorce. I believe churches can help marriages win before they begin by having an intentional discipleship strategy targeted for Singles. Helping Singles get healthy, remain healthy and develop healthy relationships will better prepare Singles for strong and successful marriage.

Also, Singles love being with other Singles.

Comment below: What are some other reasons your church should have a Singles Ministry?

Chris Reed is the Pastor to Singles at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA, where Rick Warren is his boss. He and his beautiful bride, Tina, are one of John and Debra Fileta’s great friends.

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14 Comments on "4 Reasons Your Church Needs a Singles Ministry"

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Kat
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Because someone who has been married since they were 18 and is busy raising a family has absolutely NO CLUE how it feels to be single in a place designed for couples and families. They have NO CLUE how it feels to be isolated, and shamed for being single. COUPLES LIKE TO BE AROUND ITHER COUPLES, why wouldn’t singles? It send so simple, yet churches want to ignore singles and refuse to open their eyes that they are hurting singles by this attitude. In the front of every flyer every week it says that EVERYONE is welcome. It should say… Read more »
chris reed
Guest

Hi Kat, thank you for sharing your feelings and situation. You are an amazing woman! I love that you went to church leadership with a problem and offered to be a part of the solution! And, you’re being trained as one of their leaders! When the time is right, email me ChrisR@saddleback.com with some questions you have or some ways you feel I can help. I just prayed for you, the Singles at your church and your church leadership. God’s Best, Chris

Anonymous
Guest

It’s not exactly practical when your church only has 15 people. And when there’s a 20 year age gap between yourself and the next youngest person who attends.

chris reed
Guest

Hi Anonymous, How’s the anti-cyber-surveillance and internet activism going? [jk] If you’re interested in leadng something at your church, I’ve got a few ideas. Email me ChrisR@saddleback.com

Will
Guest
I would love to have a single’s ministry in my church. I have tried to start one several times, as have other singles, and it always fizzles. In my experience, and what I see in other church’s in my area, singles ministries need a good charismatic leader to really get going but it doesn’t seem like any of the staff or leaders of are church are interested. When one of the pastor’s at our church takes up singles ministry it thrives big time. But the staff member seems to get burnt out, they stop leading it, and then it dies.… Read more »
chris reed
Guest

Hey Will, thanks for your comment. Singles Ministry can be difficult at times. If you like, let’s talk about your specific situation in a little more detail. Connect with me at ChrisR@saddleback.com

Shannon
Guest

AMEN!!! I have been struggling to find a church with a dedicated singles group. Too often they lump 20-30 something single women only into a women’s group. In many ways this is great, but it’s also hard when most of the women in this group are married.

Also, singles like being with other singles- AMEN!!!°

chris reed
Guest

Hi Shannon, I just prayed for you. Hit me up at ChrisR@saddleback.com if you feel I can help with something.

Jasmine
Guest

I have a question about #4.
What about those Christians who DON’T want to get married?
What about those Christians who are satisfied with being single?
What about those Christians who CHOOSE to remain single?
(all pretty much the same question, I know. Just different variants.)

chris reed
Guest

Hi Jasmine, great question. “Helping Singles get healthy, remain healthy and develop healthy relationships will better prepare Singles for a strong and successful marriage.” BUT if they don’t want to get married, it will prepare them for success in life. Churches need to focus on the Health and Growth of their Singles…not matchmaking.

Kimberly Burks
Guest
Hi Deb! Hi Chris! Deb – thanks for having Chris write. He is such an awesome singles pastor and a great friend to everyone. Saddleback’s Singles ministry changed my life and the way I view dating and relationships. Being on the leadership team there has had a big impact on my life and my connection to the church. I agree with everything Chris said. We all just want to feel connected and loved. No one should feel alone at church. Getting singles healthy and connected is an important mission. Thank you for all you do Pastor Chris! We love you!… Read more »
chris reed
Guest

KIM! “no one should feel alone at church” is right on! You and are Leadership Team are the key to making Saddleback Singles so amazing! Thanks for serving alongside me and for ALL you do for Singles at our church! ILY 🙂

Hope
Guest

I like the way you think, Sir, and I commend you for it! Many of my friends, and myself, have drifted from the church community precisely because there is nothing for singles. I wish all churches could be as inclusive. Thank You

chris reed
Guest

Thanks Hope! Just prayed for you and your friends. Keep praying and looking for a solid church! Let me know how I can help. Reach out to me at ChrisR@saddleback.com [BTW – your name is the best]

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