Q: How do I convey that I’m interested in a woman? What are signs or signals that would help to get us on the same page?
A: Of the hundreds of questions that came in for this #RelationshipQASeries, this was one of the most common themes.
How can you show someone you’re interested in them without being over-the-top? How do you act interested without looking like you’re completely desperate?
So, I went to my readers to pick their brain about the things that convey interest to them. And a few general themes of how to convey interest came up at the top of the list. In the next two blog posts, I’m going to break it down for both men and women, because the answers were a little different for each gender.
Men let’s start with you: if you want her to know you’re interested, here’s what the ladies said needs to happen:
TALK TO ME.
It’s that simple. So many women pointed out that if you want them to know you’re interested, GO TALK TO THEM!! It doesn’t matter what you talk about, just that you go and talk. Talk about the weather. Talk about your weekend. Talk about the sermon. Talk about current events. Talk about your job or hobbies. Talk about WHAT-EVER….just go and talk to her. Take that first step. Never underestimate the power of conversation. Not only is it the key to starting a relationship – it’s also the key to maintaining it.
GET TO KNOW ME.
Most women reported that an important part of showing interest is asking questions and showing that you’re trying to get to know them. I second this notion, because asking good questions and paying attention to the answer is the best indicator that you’re interested. Everyone wants to be known, and showing someone that you want to know them is a huge sign of respect and affection, one that carries over long into marriage.
BE CONSISTENT WITH ME.
Okay dudes, listen up here. This one was straight across the board that in order to show interest, you’ve GOT to be consistent. None of this text her one day, and then drop-off-the-face-of-the-earth for an entire week. This hard-to-get stuff is old news….because ain’t nobody got time for that. Women are looking for someone who is going to follow through not be flakey. And not only that, but consistency is a huge component to building trust in a relationship. If you’re interested, be consistent. Show up. Reach out. Be present. And then put effort into staying present.
Ladies, comment below, what are some other ways you want him to show you he’s interested?
Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. Her newest book, Choosing Marriage, is set to be released in the Summer of 2018! You may also recognize her voice from her 200+ articles at Relevant Magazine, Crosswalk.com, and all over the web! She’s the creator of this True Love Dates Blog, reaching millions of people with the message that healthy people make healthy relationships! Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter or book a session with her today!
I know, I know. Christians aren’t talking a whole lot about dating. But it’s about time we start. Pick up a copy of my book TLD and join this important conversation. Your love life will thank you for it.