21 Ways to Pray For Your (Future) Love Life

In Advice and Encouragement, Dating, For the Guys, For the Ladies, Relationships, Single, Uncategorized by Debra Fileta13 Comments

Have you ever wanted something so badly, that you did everything you could just to try and make it happen? I know I have.

There have been times in my life when I wanted a position, a career, or even a relationship so much so that I was willing to invest whatever it took.

But looking back on my life, the sad reality that I’m almost afraid to admit is that I’ve had a tendency to plot and to plan, much more than I’ve had a tendency to pray. 

Maybe you can relate. Maybe, like me, there are times in your life where you’ve try to “do the work” first…and follow it by prayer, second. Maybe there have even been times when prayer was actually the last resort.

But if I’d known then what I know NOW about the power of prayer…I believe my life would have looked drastically different along the way. 

If you’re reading this article, there’s a good chance you’re single, or looking for love. There’s a good chance you’ve tried a lot of different things and find yourself feeling hopeless and discouraged along the journey. There’s a good chance you’ve been doing all the “hard work” of relationships, only to find yourself back where you started.

And sometimes, that’s a really hard place to be.

If that’s you, I want to challenge you to try a different kind of “work” this year as it pertains to your love life – the work of faith, the work of hope, and the work of trusting God for the things that are outside of your control. You see…

Long before I met my husband, I prayed for him.

Long before I knew his name, or had any ideas of his features, I prayed for him.

Long before I knew if I would even marry or have a family, or if God would call me elsewhere, I prayed for my love-life.

During the time in my life when I was single as single could be, I was filled with the urgency to pray for a person I had never yet met. At times, the thought of marriage seemed so far away that I found I wasn’t even praying for a person, but simply, a concept.

God had called me to pray for my love-life, and I believe He’s calling you to do the same.

As we look at Scripture, we see that relationships are close to God’s heart. But why then, do we often spend so much more time worrying about our relationships than we do praying over them? The truth is, there is no power or force on this earth that is greater than that of prayer.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God (Philippians 4:6).

My time of prayer filled my heart with hope. But more than anything else, it drew me closer to Jesus. It allowed the Lord to transform my heart, my thoughts, and my desires, bringing them into alignment with His perfect plan for me.

And not only did it prepare and bless me, but it blessed the man I would one day marry. It moved our hearts in supernatural ways, and I truly believe it moved us toward each other.

So, how do you pray for your love life? Where do you even begin?

I’m not going to pretend I have the perfect formula of how to pray for love, but what I do have is a three-part approach to prayer that helps us to pray in a FAR more focused, deliberate, specific, and meaningful way:

Upward Prayers: Upward prayers, first and foremost, are about getting right with God. They call us to recognize our role, but then acknowledge that there are some things that ONLY God can do. It’s a time of asking Him to fill us with courage, strength, discernment, and the ability to TRUST HIM MORE. It’s looking to Him to give us hope when we doubt, and to help our moments of unbelief. It’s trusting Him to work behind the scenes, moving mountains that we might not even know exist.

Inward Prayers: The focus of inward prayers is to look at the things WE need to change in our own hearts and lives. Sometimes we spend so much time trying to “find the one” that we lose ourselves along the way. We make lists of things we want in a spouse, without ever taking the time to confess our own weaknesses, failures, and sins. Inward prayers are our chance to position ourselves where we need to be in order to be able to recognize and receive LOVE when it comes our way.

Outward Prayers: Outward prayers give us the opportunity to grow our faith, because we’re praying for a person that we’ve never even met! “What’s the point of praying for your future spouse…I mean, what if I never even get married”, you might be worrying.  I think that’s a really valid question, but how I see it is you can either grow bitter, or you can grow better. You can either worry about it, or you can commit your time to praying about it. And only one of those two things has the power to impact God’s heart!! Outward prayers are your chance to specifically pray for your future spouse, asking God to heal him/her, grow thim/her, protect him/her and prepare him/her for the relationship that’s to come. There is nothing more meaningful you can do for your future relationship than commit your life to prayer right here, and right now.

For those of you interested in digging deeper, and doing the REAL WORK of prayer, I want to encourage you to check out my brand new program called 21 Days to Pray for Your Love LifeIt was JUST RELEASED this weekend, and all the launch weekend prices and extra bonuses are only available for a short time!

In this program, I take the three categories above, and break them down into 21 SPECIFIC DAYS OF PRAYER, offering you specific prayers to pray over you and your future love each and every single day. I believe this prayer has the power to change everything, and I believe this program is one way we can focus our energies in the right place…by pouring our heart out to the ONE AND ONLY God who holds our future in His hand.

Don’t wait another day. Check out the program by clicking on the photo below, and commit your love life to prayer starting TODAY.

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Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, and 21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. You may also recognize her voice from her 150+ articles at Relevant Magazine or Crosswalk.com! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog!  Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter

Comments

  1. Such great encouragement for those who are looking to start dating and to those who are in long-term relationships! I was single for much longer than I’ve been in a relationship so I’ve found a couple of practical alternatives or additional things people can do.

    Writing letters to your future husband/wife – I did this when I was in high school and I did it in a journal I bought from Barnes and Noble. I recently found it and read through it and it was some really good stuff in there but I sounded a lot different back then than I do now haha

    Writing letters to God – the same thing but addressed to God and it can be done in a journal – online or print depending on preference. After I got baptized in high school, I kept a journal for a period of time where the entries were addressed to God.

    God has blessed me with the gift of writing and reaching out to others through words so even expressing myself through words has been and still is a lot easier for me! I haven’t been able to resume writing in those journals since my last years in college but I hope to get back on writing letters to God since I’m in a committed long-term relationship, dating with the purpose of marriage.

    Hope this helps those who normally have a hard time verbally expressing your emotions and thoughts either to God or to others 🙂

  2. I used to feel comfortable waiting on God’s timetable in this area. But unfortunately that mindset has has changed. with the passage of time. I’ve always found the dating thing hard and I knew that if that special person came into my life it with be with God’s help,.
    But she never came.
    I’m now in late 50s and it’s becoming more likely I’ll be growing old alone. I feel as if I’ve been abandoned

    1. Author

      Rick, I hear your struggle…it’s one that all of us have been through in different ways, as we wait on God for different things….for that job, for that relationship, for that healing, for those children, for justice….it’s the cry of the Israelites as they wandered in the desert for 40 years, wondering if God heard and if he even cared. As hard as it is, these times of stretching are an opportunity to stretch our faith and believe in His goodness even when life isn’t turning out the way we planned. We can grow bitter – or we can come to him and grow better. It’s not always an easy choice in the moment, but this life is just a moment compared to what’s to come…and how we respond in this life is shaping so much of what’s happening in our hearts. I pray that TODAY God gives you even just a glimpse of His goodness, and His love toward you in so many different ways. Stay strong, brother!

    2. Rick do not despair. Sisters, please do not hate me.
      Rick take great comfort in the fact that you are a man of God and you are a MAN!! Late fifties, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s……. until you are 6 feet under, you will always be a catch. Recently a man in his 80’s got engaged to a woman in her late 50’s.

      Get out there and get involved. Join a gym, learn to dance, get involved in church groups. You are without excuse Rick. There is no reason for a MAN to grow old alone unless you want to. There are much, much, much more available, suitable, Godly women than there are men.

      GET OUT THERE AND GET YOURSELF ONE OF THEM!!!!!!

  3. Sarah
    I like the idea of writing or keeping a journal to God. I have heard David Jeremiah a pastor in San Diego talk about that on his radio messages. I mean, God knows our hearts and thoughts already! Nothing is hidden from Him, but he wants us to take that step and approach Him, He never forces us. There’s that rule of free will again!!! Lol!
    God Bless you Sarah

    Ray

  4. At times I think a mixture of plotting and planning mingled with prayer wold do me some good. I have never been able to plot and plan though, total failure in this area. I say constantly to the Lord, Lord you know me I have no idea the first move to make. If you do not intervene I am lost.
    Recently while taking yet countless books from the library on marriage and such a voice in my head said ” just how many more books are you going to read? ”

    Great advice Debra. Very helpful. Thanks.

    1. Author

      Jessy, I hear your struggle too….there’s a fine balance between trusting God, and then expecting Him to do everything for us while we sit back and do nothing. That’s not at all what I propose…and in fact, that’s exactly the topic that my first program: 21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life, tackles.

      http://truelovedates.com/product/21-days-to-jump-start-your-love-life-program/

      You HAVE to start with faith and trust, and for some people, that’s exactly where they need to start with prayer and trust….but then you realize that faith doesn’t mean passivity….it’s activity. Faith moves you toward something…one step at a time. Amen?

  5. Thanks for this Debra. What do you type in to get the discount? I feel like God is calling me to do the 21 day prayer challenge for my future wife. I struggle with the same things you are discussing in your posts and in what the 21 day thing would cover.

    1. Author

      Hi Luke! I’m so happy to hear you’re feeling called to prayer! What a powerful and beautiful thing. Code is Pray20 🙂 I can’t wait to hear your experience over the next 21 Days! Keep me posted.

  6. Thank you Debra! I love the encouragement to prayer…I need it. I bought your book, but really like the daily messages. I can relate to Rick, waiting is not easy . Sounds like he is a good man and he will find the right woman. I will try to pray more, and get back to reading your book.

  7. Hi Sarah,

    I also journal my prayers to God; it is much easier for me to share my heart with Him this way. Lately a lot of my prayers have been about preparation for marriage, so writing letters to God and working my way through True Love Dates are truly helpful. I would encourage anyone to do this too. I can see how God is changing me so that I’ll become the person and wife that my husband is looking for!

    God bless you and best wishes for your relationship!

  8. Hey Debra, how long will the discount be up for? God has been calling me to do the program but I already spent a little bit of money for the week and I want to try to be a better steward of my money. I am thinking about ordering the pray for future spouse program on Thursday.

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