10 Ways Singles Need to Take Care of THEMSELVES

In Advice and Encouragement, Single by Debra Fileta12 Comments

If you’ve read True Love Dates or followed TrueLoveDates.com for any bit of time, you’ve likely heard me say that “healthy people attract healthy relationships”. 

I say it all the time because it’s so simple, yet so incredibly life-changing for those who grasp that reality.

Human beings are magnetic. We’re drawn to people who are on similar levels of emotional, spiritual, and psychological health as we are.

This is why self-care and health are such a crucial part of life no matter what your relationship status. The more you take care of yourself, the more you propel yourself to a better place, where you’ll naturally attract (and be attracted to) people who are also at a “better place”.

So, I asked singles to tell me: What are the BEST things you do to take care of yourself? I loved the answers so much, I decided to share them with you. Here are some of my favorites, summarized into 10 categories. I hope they inspire you, encourage you, and challenge you to see the incredible importance of taking care of YOURSELF. 

  1. Get connected with good people: “Surround yourself with good, encouraging, and godly people who will build you up and not tear you down.” “I get together with a mixed group of singles and marrieds once a week for bible study/social hangout which is great for variety.” “Spending time with my family while I have the chance!” “Having a community is THE BEST thing you can do for yourself when you are single.”
  2. Take some time to see the world: “Travel. I make sure to take at least 2 trips a year, domestic or international. I always feel better after getting out of town for a bit.”
  3. Deepen your relationship with Jesus: “Time-outs spent with God by myself are the best things.” “I turn to God’s Word” “Write to God in my journal”.
  4. Read a lot of good books: “Read books that promote emotional & spiritual health (such as your True Love Dates, those by Henry Cloud, Lysa Terkeurst, Renee Swope, & Mandy Hale)”
  5. Find an accountability partner to keep you on track: “I spend time in meaningful conversations with other single female friends and keep accountable with them.”
  6. Get counseling: “See a therapist!” “There’s no better investment than getting yourself emotionally and mentally healthy”
  7. Take care of your body: “Setting a goals, exercise, prayer, reading, eating the right food and stay optimistic.” “Try regular massages, manicures and pedicures!”
  8. Live in the moment: “Star-gazing, being outside walking in the rain, sunrises & sunsets, and going for long drives.” “Go for long walks.”
  9. Set goals for yourself: “Try a vision board collage.” “Write down your goals.”
  10. Get plugged into church: “I like to keep busy with going to church, ladies conferences, bible studies anything to feed my spirit.” “Go to church/community groups!”

Comment below: What are some of the BEST ways you take care of yourself?

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. Her newest book, Choosing Marriage, is set to be released in the Summer of 2018! You may also recognize her voice from her 200+ articles at Relevant Magazine, Crosswalk.com, and all over the web! She’s the creator of this True Love Dates Blog, reaching over 4 million people with the message that healthy people make healthy relationships!  Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter or book a session with her today!

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12 Comments on "10 Ways Singles Need to Take Care of THEMSELVES"

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Spot on! Always be good to yourself, regardless of what you may think you deserve. We always owe ourselves patience and kindness.


What if you are poor and have no money? How do you take care of yourself, then? Can you provide some useful tips on how to take care of yourself if you are struggling, financially? Four out of the ten things that you’ve mentioned cost a lot of money. It is very easy to do these things, if you are not poor and struggling financially.

Rachel Greer
While I think these are good suggestions, they don’t automatically work. I’ve been putting myself out there and prayed to find good friends, but nothing has happened. I’ve tried biblical counseling, but that hasn’t worked out. I can’t travel as much as I’d like to because I don’t have the money. I’d also spend time with my family but they’re often busy. I would immerse myself in my faith, but I’m not as passionate about it as everyone else seems to be. Maybe I’m just weak. Add to all of this the fact that I have high functioning autism, and… Read more »
With all due respect, your article seem to approach singleness in a very one-dimensional way, assuming all single people live a life of affluence and have high-paying jobs, not mindful of the fact that only a tiny portion of the world’s population are rich and can afford to live an affluent lifestyle, doing some of the things that you’ve described in your article. Even in the US, rates of poverty and income inequality are very high. It would be helpful if you also wrote an article on singleness and poverty, or even singleness and unemployment. An article on how single… Read more »

the only goal I have not been able to accomplish is #1 & #5. I love these suggestions, #3 is the most important!


Eating healthy foods and getting quality sleep are important for me. I’m also working to develop a strong support group, but that takes time.


These are great. Thanks to the readers for sharing. I try to do as many things on this list as possible.

Thanks for sharing Debra.

Debra, you speak the raw truth which I think only those that have a relationship with God will hear and willing to implement. Like what you said in no 3 “deepen your relationship with Jesus”, it is only those with a relationship with Jesus that can think of deepening their relationship with Jesus. Again, what I wish to add in addition is that they should be careful or conscious not to allow those without a relationship with God to influence their action. I said this because one area that those who are without a relationship with God are influencing Christians… Read more »
Joel Lucas
Right On and Amen to that, Debra, especially the exercising part, lol, I need to lose this weigh!!!!! Also the part about being part of community, Meetup, is a great way to become involved especially if you live like I do in a large city(Raleigh, Triangle area including Durham, Chapel Hill and areas in between, lol!!) Meetup has a app and I put in on my tablet and I’m so glad I did, there’s so much to do here, it’s unbelievable, more so than Eastern NC(where I moved from in June 2014, Wilson is my hometown, but I moved to… Read more »
Joel Lucas

Amen to that brother!!!!!! This is for men and women especially in church!!!!!! Preach brother, Preach!!!!!!! Love that princevinco!!!!!!