10 Great Places to Meet Someone of the Opposite Sex

In Advice and Encouragement, Dating, Single by Debra Fileta18 Comments

People are always wondering where to meet someone of the opposite sex.  I know that was true for me.  I wondered when I would meet my future spouse, and where.

I decided to take an informal little poll asking where some of my friends and readers have met their spouses, or where some might think would be a good place to meet someone.  Here’s what they came up with (in no particular order):

1.  Coffee shop

2.  Seminary Class/College Class

3.  The Bookstore, particularly in your favorite section 😉  Common interests are always good!

4.  Church small group/bible study

5. Online

6.  A Conference (yep, this is how John and I met!)

7.  Concert or event

8.  At a Wedding

9.  Gathering at someone’s house (mutual friends rock!)

10.  A Mission Trip (how my friend Sarah met her husband)

It’s fun to look and see the different places people are first introduced to the person they end up marrying, but it’s more incredible to know that there is a really trustworthy God behind the scenes- working out all the details.  

No matter where you are in your search for love, it’s okay to find hope in the stories of the people around you- but don’t get caught up looking at other people’s stories without living your own (Tweet it!).

God is after the bigger picture of your life, and has unique and specific plans for your life and relationships.  Trust Him and watch as those plans unfold.  You just never know what will happen next…or where.

For more on finding love and learning about what you should look for in a relationship, check out Chapter 5 of True Love Dates. 

Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, national speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. You may also recognize her voice from her 150+ articles at Relevant Magazine or Crosswalk.com! She’s also the creator of this True Love Dates Blog, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love! Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter


  1. I have tried all of these and am still waiting. I am now in my 50’s and wondering if it will ever happen.

    1. Keep on in faith sister/brother. If the desire is there the Lord will fulfill it. I will be praying for you. The Lord gives the best gifts. Hopefully before the year ends… I will pray you will begin to see ‘ a little cloud ” ( 1 Kings 18: 43-44), all to the glory of God according to his will for your life. The scripture tells us we should overflow with hope. So we will pray and wait on God for his will for your life. Continue to busy yourself with kingdom business until…

      God bless You

  2. Debra! Thank you. I am very encouraged by this post. I do actually believe this same thing; that it’s for me to keep my eyes open but for God to do the providing. It’s tough though. I often meet men that are not believers that I find I connect with and have that bond with and that has been the most difficult struggle for me. I wonder sometimes if I’m doing something the wrong way, but then I am again reminded that it’s the forest not the tree and I am part of the forest and this creation that God has a much bigger plan for. I see men that have come into my life totally unchurched who have read the Bible for the first time because of our encounters and I am humbled that God would use me for reaching these people who need to know Jesus too. That’s ultimately what my life is about. When God calls us to things according to His purpose, they are not going to be easy. I was even reading in Matthew how he states the gate is narrow and the way is HARD! Gah!!!! I wish it said easy, smooth, comfortable. How contradictory it seems that we are brought to knowledge that this Hard way is the BEST way. That is of supernatural teaching of the Spirit; that God seeks us before we even seek Him.

    Debra, I am thankful so deeply for your ministry and for your work. You have blessed me and helped teach me much about how to love myself and thus it’s transpired to others. One day I’ll meet you, be it here or life eternal and it will be nice to hug you and praise Jesus together.

    Today especially I am praying for you; that you would have strength when you feel weak and tired and despondent and that you would understand that as you pour out so much, your Father in Heaven is already with you giving you all and more you need. Continue to walk the hard path in hope.

    – Cassandra

  3. Hi Debra!
    The link for #5 online doesn’t link to an actual post. But I can speak to that one as that is how my husband and I met while we were all the way across the world from each other. We realize that it really was God working behind the scenes bringing us together.
    A recent study also showed that one third of new marriages began online although it does have to be taken with a grain of salt since the study was funded by on online dating site. Other places the study found was through work and mutual friends. I give credit to the study as personally a number of my friends who are now married also met online but everyone has a unique story.

  4. Hi Debra,
    Love these suggestions! Especially the bookstore idea. I don’t frequent them often, since I’m not into a lot of reading. But, perhaps I need to visit Barnes and Noble more than just for Christmas shopping! Lol!

  5. Dear Debra,

    I would like to thank you for every effort you’re sharing your greatest ideas.

    I read most of your ideas written, and appreciates your courage and May The Almighty Father Bless every aspects of your Life, including your WILL!

    Thanks again,

  6. I think that this list is good, but I should point out that some are more intentional ways to meet people while others are passive.

    Going to a networking event (like a conference) means that you will be intentionally connecting with people of similar interests. Using an online site like eHarmony or Match means you are making clear your intentions to possibly persue a relationship with someone you are matched with.

    But just hanging around your favorite book section means you will be waiting around hoping that somebody will come by, not to mention that they will be someone who will be relationship material.

    I wonder if sometimes people complain that they can’t find anybody and it’s because they are hoping that by staying in their comfort zone at their usual places that someone perfect will walk into their life. Not saying it doesn’t happen, but I’m guessing it’s far more likely that more people find the right person when they look in places that require more intentional effort.

  7. Is it sinful to go to places for the sake of looking around for potential dates? For example visiting other churches than your own local church. My situation is that I love my own church and really care to go to other churches but I don’t really have anyone who I am interested in my own church.

    I feel there is this kind struggle and tension for the single person: I know I should be active in my pursuit of relationships, yet I should not be too obsessed with and trust God to orchestrate your life. So you are torn between these conflicting ideas. I wish it would be one or the other, not both.

    1. I don’t think its a sin. (churches are great places to meet other like minded people, or should be anyway.) Your comment is something I have thought about doing myself, yet agree with you…I don’t really want to go to another church, I love my church, but it might be beneficial to see/meet other people. 🙂 I’ll try it if you do?!

  8. Hi, I just read this article. It’s good to give tips but in the end, you can try all those ways and still not meet anyone. If it’s God’s way we have to give Him way. I’ve tried meeting people many ways and nothing has happened. I don’t put that expectation on myself whenever I go somewhere now. If I meet people that’s great, if I don’t that’s fine. I try to do something different once in a while but I’m not going to go in a frenzy. I still want to get married, but there are some things I just won’t do anymore e.g. go online. Have had bad experiences and the people interested in me were way too old (at least 15 years older and up!).

  9. Hint of advice, military vehicle conventions are not good places to find a potential mate.

  10. My husband and I met through blogging and Facebook, so I can definitely vouch for the online version! 🙂 While there’s still some amount of stigma to the whole “online dating” thing I actually think that it was a good thing in our case. Because our communication was solely intellectual at first we got to know each other far better than we would have in person, especially since we’re both rather shy when meeting people face-to-face.

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